Tough Love
by Psychedelic0Kitty
Summary: Boys have been known to tease when they have a crush to hide and Karma is no exception to this. But when Nagisa becomes suddenly unwelcome to his actions, he knows something is wrong and is determined to help him. Possessive! Karma x Nagisa. Rated M for violence not lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNINGS: boy x boy love, violence, occasional strong language, abuse and bullying in later chapters and I think that's it...**

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KARMA'S POV

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Chapter One

I raised one skeptical eyebrow, taking in the information that sounded like a complete scam that had been spat from the mouth of the man before me - Gakuho Asano. The bastard psycho-father of a bastard control-freak of a student who was unfortunately an old classmate of mine. We sat a table away in his overly sized, irritably plain office, though if it was up to me, he would be several roads from me by now.

"This isn't some kind of joke is it? Or another of your twisted mind games?" I spoke, hardly respectful to the straight faced, sinister head of the school.

"I understand it's hard to believe, but you should be thankful you haven't been completely expelled; if it wasn't for this bizarre turn of events, you wouldn't just be in the E class, but completely out of my school."

That was right, I was being dropped to the E class. It was ironic, as I had only ever come in third place as my ultimate minimum score, usually scoring two and occasionally grabbing first place in the past at my other schools. I had been told that my narrow escape from expulsion was due to my _skills_ being required in the end class, doubling as my punishment for knocking my teacher out last year. But I knew that this would have never been the case if my rival wasn't the son of this man. I sensed that in his voice and he knew I did. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to be kicked out when the next school was so far away from my home. I groaned, rolling my eyes and standing up, crunching the letter of notice between my finger tips.

"Is that all?"

"Yes. You may head home."

So I had lost my place as the publicised second smartest in the school, but weighing the options on a scale, being free from Gakushuu (knowing I'd still grab top marks and being given the privilege of causing some severe damage to a member of the school's staff) I couldn't say I was as disappointed as I would have thought.

One thing that no doubt, intentionally, went unsaid, was that the E class students had to wake up even earlier than the rest of us to head to school. I only figured this out the next day when at our lessons usual starting time, I found myself only having just reached the main campus with a mountain to still journey up.

A single glass told me that I wouldn't be on time for my lesson if I ran, so, with a sigh at a random student passing by, I decided there was no harm in me taking a stroll.

What exactly did they hope to achieve by placing the students so high up away from the other classes? Was that head teacher really sadistic enough to watch E class members suffer like this, or where these students so bad they had to be isolated?

They couldn't be that bad, could they? I had seen them in assemblies before, and honestly they appeared to be tired out, boring looking characters. But I myself was pretty bad, so me being an E class student said a lot about what the others could be like.

One thing was for sure, the fact that they made there way through this thick pathless trees on a slope, avoiding not only snakes, insects and the occasional rabbit, but also making this journey in their full school uniform proved that they had to be pretty tough to me.

"I'm finally here." I muttered to myself, stepping out into the clearing. I looked up, seeing a single story building that looked more like a cabin. It could have been a school maybe two centuries ago, but now, it just looked run down. And here I was thinking my school was quite well established. This building didn't even have a single brick on it.

"Wow." I deadpanned, kicking a snake that decided it would try and coil onto me. I walked up the wooden steps to the building, peering into a glass-less window.

That was when I heard a distant voice that sounded like laughter. "Niruhehehehe..!"

My expression turned grim. I was able to tell a human laugh from a non-human one. My eyes narrowed, realising that the building before me was silent, but coming from behind it, I couldn't mistake the sound of children nattering away.  
Despite this, I could still here the worn down creak my footsteps made as I walked around the building to the where the sound was coming from.

Here it comes. I had broken a few rules by bringing my own weapons instead of the ones provided, as I clenched my fingers around my switchblade, back pressed into the wall. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but I wanted to analyse the situation before I burst in like an idiot.

What was most noticeable was the eerie absence of a teacher. There were students everywhere, and whether or not this was part of their legal PE lesson, they seemed fully engaged in multiple forms of combat with the single yellow blow-up punch bag in the centre. My eyes narrowed, inhuman sounding voice still clear as the day. Then suddenly, the punchbag disappeared.

My eyes widened, stepping back, looking to see who had stabbed it and popped it, only to see it reappear not far behind them, sliding it's flexible tentacles over the shoulders of a small blue haired girl. No. That was no girl.

My attention was taken from the creature at an embarrassing speed. I knew my face was slightly pink as they looked the small, slim, uniformed boy with the light peachy skin, the kind eyes that were painfully hard to see at this distance and the bright, hair as blue as the sky above it. To me, it looked just like Nagisa Shiota. Of course, this was Nagisa's class now. I had nearly forgotten the brutal way he was told his news last year.

"Well done Nagisa~ I barely noticed you from that angle." A praising voice emitted from the balloon. I had to do a double take, eyes not wanting to but having to flicker from the tiny boy to the much larger yellow creature - the creature that was now at an angle where I could see a creepily happy, creepily still smile with tiny eyes looking back. This was the teacher we were trying to kill? This dressed up thing looked: inflatable, harmless, it looked like it would pop and die if I we could get it still, which with twenty something students would likely be easy.

I decided I'd had enough hiding at this point, walking forward while he was busy praising, stopping by each student to tell that the things they did well and the ways they could improve. He seemed a lot nicer than any of the teachers I'd known, and unlike them he didn't feel sickeningly falsely so.

While I was walking up, many students stared at me oddly, stopping and gawking blatantly. Good thing I hadn't attempted a sneak up. Eventually, I found myself standing face to face with the tall, round, grinning monster.

"Oh~ And who do we have here?"

"Karma Akabane, new student." I announced, keeping my eyes trained on as many of his flailing limbs as I could, without coming across as too wary. I threw my hands in my pockets, creating the image of being laid back, knowing full well now that I had the class' attention. There were a few I recognised, but most of them were new faces to me.

He laughed that odd laugh of his again,"Are you aware that you're a whole period late into the day?"

"Yeah, well I failed to to be told the fact that I'd have to wake up an hour early to get here so blame the Chairman if you want to put me in trouble for that."

"Is that so, well then class, let's welcome our new student into the assassination classroom."

When I moved my hand out to offer a shake, I kept my eyes lazily to the side, landing by chance on two wide blue eyes that look back it me so secretively, looking so enigmatic yet bright, I found myself being pumped with some form of courage. I'd never been one to show off intentionally, but at that moment, my body seemed to move on its own.

A tentacle slipped around my own limb, shaking my hand amiably when I gripped back _tightly._

Suddenly, the octopus went quiet, the tip of the blade slipping down from beneath my sleeve, grazing the tip of his oddly textured skin and sending him into a panic. It must have been a fraction of a second later that he jumped back, only to be yanked forward into place as I used his limb as a bar, swinging myself forward and kicking him on the back, pouncing at him like a wild animal with a knife in my hand.

I heard the sounds of gasps and cries of how awesome my act had been from all directions, but I wasn't focused on that. The creature evaded me, so I struck at him again, and again and again, swinging until my arm grew tired and my body lost the energy to keep chasing after his ridiculous speed. I knew I had had struck him many times by know, so I though surely it must have been enough.

He flickered up, revealing behind him the blue-haired beauty that had caught my attention before I looked up to see him looking down at me with no emotions displayed on his face. That made me a little upset, but that was nothing compared to the curiosity I felt.

"Clever surprise attack Karma~ Unfortunately for you your little metal blade won't even scratch me oh and you should never let your enemy behind you." He spoke from somewhere out of my peripheral vision.

I elbowed back into where his flesh was aggressively, making a swipe at him only for him to grab my arm and grab my personal blade, carefully removing it from me.

"Now Karma, you shouldn't be bringing things like this onto school grounds, you wouldn't want to hurt another of your precious students would you?" He mused.

I shook my head in defeat,"Isn't it about time for third period?" He nodded his head in agreement, calling out to the rest that time was up, before disappearing to where was likely the inside of the class.

Willing to let it go there, I headed off in his train. But as I was walking, I caught sight of my reflection in some girl's mirror and was more than vengeful to see that my hair had somehow been brushed out of my face, my top button done, my tie pushed neatly up and my shirt tucked in.

He must have done that when my focus was on that boy...

I hissed as the blonde girl laughed at me flirtatiously. She was pretty, but as I headed into the run down building, my attention was once again claimed by someone I thought to be drastically pretty. He was by far the biggest distraction in the room even with a lethal monster present.

The boy sat in his seat quietly, looking out of the window with one hand over his mouth. Nagisa Shiota. Nagisa Shiota. _Nagisa Shiota._ In my head I wished for him to look back at me, but I found myself to be seated at the very back without a single glance from him.

The last time I had seen him, his stature was even smaller, his cheeks the slightest bit rounder and although his hair wasn't tied up the way it was now, I could tell that at was still long enough to drape down to his shoulders like the meandering of a river in a way that had made me stare at the aquamarine strands of silk more than I had looked at the board that year.

I smirked as I saw him, keeping my gaze just as trained on him as they had before, thinking thoughts of just as much admiration as last time, in my mind, I willed him to turn and face me so I could drown in his mirror-like eyes. But before I know it, our lesson went on without that glance.

* * *

When break came, I took my chance. A lot of people tried to get in my way, asking me where I was from and introducing themselves as well, after a series of one worded responses, I was finally free to go where I really wanted.

"Still hanging out with the girls I see." I teased, leaning onto the boy's desk. He was seated beside some green haired girl, but when he turned to face me, his expression was so unfamiliarly still I was momentarily caught off guard, wondering if this really was the same boy that I knew from before.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten me, how cold." Faux sadness took over my voice, and I knew I was successful when his eyes shimmered the slightest bit.

"I haven't spend a single day without having you cross my mind, Nagisa." I added, playing his sweet name off of my tongue like one would play an instrument.

The boy finally sighed, looking up at me with his cute lips slightly turned up in the corners,"No Karma, I remember you trying to break our teacher's arm last year."

I could have sworn I felt my breath stop when his eyes finally met mine like that, like the prize after the fight. I opened my mouth to respond, when the girl beside him let out a loud gasp.

"You really did that?" She looked at me in awe and slight fear, but I was glad to tell the story.

"Honestly that teacher had been pissing me off all year, but when he announced that Nagisa would be moving to the E class in such a diabolical way, I just couldn't keep my hands from ringing around his neck."

I meant everything I had said. His words from that day still echoed in my mind. The way he had almost happily walked by, saying he had to speak to Nagisa in private, only to stand beside him and announce the news so the whole class could here. So they knew who to pick on. If it was me it would have been different, but when it was Nagisa I just lost all respect for him.

 _"I would say it's a shame, but those who are vile and inferior enough to let themselves become so stupid deserve to be isolated."_

 _I figured it must have been a shock to the boy - it certainly caught me by surprise. The teacher had been nothing but nice to Nagisa for the rest of the year, encouraging him, telling him to work hard and most of all teaching him that his appearance was something he shouldn't be ashamed of, giving Nagisa the confidence to become the person that caught me by a red thread._

 _I knew not to trust him - all teachers in this place wore a fake mask around students. For Nagisa though, I wasn't too sure._

 _I watched as Nagisa's still expression finally darkened in realisation. He practically jumped out of his seat, taking the teacher desperately by the sleeve of his shirt as his eyed looked up hopefully. I hated seeing that sadness, but there was no way to stop the laughing and daunting that had already begun._

 _He begged that their must have been some kind of a mistake, and begged for him to be able to take a re-test. The teacher he had practically idolised like a father had looked at him like he was dirt, slapping his grip into weakness, knowing that the class no longer cared to report mistreatment when it was to an abhorred End Class student. "It's like a said. You're the one to blame E class, and no one else can do anything about that."_

 _The rest of it was a blur of my own resent. The students were laughing, cursing unpunished at Nagisa and shouting their own hurtful comments while the teacher walked back to his desk with a smug, gloating smirk on his disgusting face. He turned around to face, me, only to have the smile knocked right away by the bottom of my shoe as I sent him to the ground, slamming him down and twisting his arm the way you would to defend yourself from only the worst kind of criminal scum._

 _My attack unfortunately didn't break nearly as many bones as badly as I would have like, because that damn Asano brat sneaked his hand over my face while I was distracted enough to have me passed out from lack of oxygen and dragged back._

"You're joking right?" The girl, I later knew as Kayano looked up with eyes so wide you'd think they were about to burst.

"Not at all."

She turned to Nagisa, "You're really lucky to have a friend that looks out for you like that."

My gaze was, for the dozenth time that day, drawn to that pretty little face, waiting for his look of appreciation. Instead, his eyes were turned down almost sadly, making me wonder. Had I given him attention he didn't want that day making him hate me? Had people teased him even harder after that? Maybe he was just sorry that I ended up in the E class while defending him?

It seemed like I had peered into a deeper layer of his guarded eyes, one showing hurt, misery and depression. He made a face that stung me like we were somehow connected. Whatever it was that made him make that face, I decided I hated it. I decided I would end it.

I realised at that moment, that my main focus wouldn't be wasted on some teacher when there was a perfectly suitable way to pass my time right here in the form of Nagisa Shiota.

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 **Stay tuned for more soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I had to admit, some of the lessons in this class were literally the most interesting I'd ever had. There were a few ordinary lessons dotted in, but there were just as many where we learnt things like how to blend in with your surroundings, how to sneak up on someone, how to see a flaw in a plan and my favourite - how to cause people extreme pain without killing them.

 _Why weren't all schools like this?_

By now, I'd managed to show up to school on time. Usually I'd come in at the latest possible moment so I wouldn't have to suffer from boredom of waiting and end up harassing some poor soul, but I quite enjoyed the conspiratorial plans for future assassination attempts that seemed to be shared most in the moments before class started.

This was one of those moments. The class was huddled up around the guy beside me's desk, so I didn't have to move, choosing to twist my body instead. I was delighted when Nagisa and his little girl buddy came to stand beside me, Nagisa even leaning his little frame against my desk.

"...So to get him alone, someone just needs to approach him with their work, being the great teacher he is, he should be focused on the work, when you trap your arms around him and don't let him go until the bomb detonates." Terasaka exclaims excitedly.

There was silence.

"Yeah, that could work, but it has a major flaw - someone has to die." Isogai rolled his eyes.

"He's right nobody wants to blow themselves up." Someone else agreed, as the crowd begun slimming out.

"W-wait, I'm sure someone will! That person will be the noble sacrifice who saves the world, the main character-like hero, that's the most special title in our class. Fuwa?"

The girl he mentioned eyes sparkled, catching my briefest intrigue before her friend rolled her eyes and dragged her back into the chair, yelling for her to sit down.

"Nice try Terasaka, if it's such an honour why don't you do it yourself?"

"That's different, the genius behind the plan doesn't get both roles, that's just unfair, it's the class I'm considering."

I laughed to myself as people started to mutter, turning myself around as the group dispersed. I just missed the angry glare Terasaka shot Nagisa, but I didn't miss the way the boy tense up, nails suddenly digging into my table, head suddenly down.

I looked up at him in confusion, but when his voice spoke up, loud enough for the class to hear, my blood froze. "I-I'll do it."

The boy's voice triggered many people to turn around and look at him in shock, the class instantly erupting into whispers, some people wondering if that boy had been in the class the whole time.

"Nagisa-" Kayano spoke up, putting her hand on his back, only to have him flinch away, gently taking her wrist and placing it back on the table. I was relieved she had said something, because my voice was uncharacteristically dry.

 _"I want to do it."_

To those who didn't know him, he sounded honest, but to me it couldn't have sounded more forced, as if he were pleading in his head for someone to object.

"There's a good spirit!" Terasaka jeered, placing his hand quite roughly on the boys shoulders and shaking him about proudly.

I closed my eyes, unable to see the boy being gripped so roughly, because I knew that punching the teeth out the mouth of another not-to-be-harmed student would get me thrown right out, away from this job and from a distance where I could no longer be with Nagisa.

Someone...say something.

"Are you sure?" A quiet voice braved.

I blinked open to see Nagisa nodding. The beauty of his blue eyes was wasted on the floor, the symmetry of his features was shamefully invisible when covered by his hair, and the tremble of his arms at his sides where the brute who invented this plan held him told me everything I needed to know to put two and two together.

That morning, I had walked by Terasaka and the rest of his gang crowding around Nagisa, and although I was a bit jealous, I didn't interrupt because the were only saying nice things like how great he was, how he wouldn't regret it. Only now could I piece together what they were referring to. Why else would several boys who had barely noticed his existence before suddenly be amazed by him?

 _He had been threatened into doing this._

This fact only gave me more reason to beat them senseless, but with that not an option, I was left choking my anger out in words.

"I'll do it instead." I stood up, the heads of the whole class turning as I did, but the only head I watched turn up to meet my gaze was Nagisa's. I gave the startled boy a small smile.

Terasaka looked at me confused, like I had just committed some mind blowing deed that had destroyed his evil plan. My eyes narrowed threateningly in his direction, daring him to make any complaint, he just stuttered "Whatever, you can do it if you want," detaching himself from _my_ Nagisa and stepping back into his seat.

The blue eyed boy looked back at me, once again, where I was expecting relief, I saw nothing but bottomless sadness.

"Karma... you can't."

I raised an eyebrow, but didn't let him press on,"Of course I can."

I was going to die today, huh? I didn't see that coming, but if it meant Nagisa would get to live on, I didn't mind at all. I wasn't sad I wouldn't get to do anything I loved anymore, I wasn't happy that I'd be the one to save the earth. I felt nothing but a terrifyingly calm numb.

"But... you're the new guy, no one wants you to die before we even got to know you, that's just sad!"

I grit my teeth, not quite able to see the girl who had said that since there were so many people drawing in. There was no way I was pointing this out in front of Nagisa, but by saying that, she was basically saying that they had no problem with letting Nagisa die.

"She's right." Nagisa mumbled, his arms were crossed over so his hand played with the loose end of his sleeve nervously.

"Besides," Somebody else added,"No offence but with the amount of times you've tried to deceive Koro-Sensei, I doubt he'd be distracted from you by your work."

Despite my utmost complaints, the class almost unanimously voted that Nagisa would be the one sacrificed. Compared to my own death, this made me feel like there was a supernova happening inside me, with my heart as the origin.

* * *

The octopus' head turned up slightly as Nagisa approached him, laying down his work on the table. "I'm having trouble on the last question." He whispered, quietly enough for only the front row to hear, but it seemed the class had gone deathly quiet, eyes rolling up attempting to see, but keeping their heads down so they weren't being too obvious. I had finished my work several minutes ago however, and had been waiting with my arms leaned back behind my head watching. Darkness had been growing in me since that morning. Mainly in the form of anger to the others.

My eyes scrutinised over the unworthy class one more time, noting that while some of their expressions showed the slightest traces of guilt, yet they had still gone ahead with their despicable plan anyway.

I had already made my decision from the moment the class had made theirs. But still, the seconds ticking by as Nagisa stood up had left me on the edge of my seat, sweating whilst trying to appear calm in anticipation.

When Koro-Sensei smiled and opened his mouth to speak, I interrupted him,"I'd get away from Nagisa if I were you. He's got a bomb."

His inflatable looking head turned up in my direction just a second before Nagisa jumped on him, wrapping his arms around him, only to have Koro-Sensei flicker to stand over where I was.

The blue eyed boy looked over in fright, falling with his hands on the desk, the bomb that had been attached to him by a string around his neck now visible to all.

The class gasped, groaning in irritation, some even shooting me looks of distaste and muttering curses. From the corner of my eye, Terasaka slammed his fist into the wall, cursing loudly that I was a traitor to the class.

But then, a black aura emitted from the corner of my eyes, bringing the attention away from me, and back to our friendly, grinning teacher...

A series of loud screams were let out at the ashen monster sprawled out before their eyes. **_"TRAITOR! THE ONLY TRAITORS IN THIS ROOM ARE THE ONES WHO INFLICT HARM ON THEIR OWN CLASSMATES! YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED AT DOING SOMETHING SO COWARDLY..."_**

His lecture went on, none of us daring to attack at that moment. Knowing that who we saw now was not our teacher, but the villainous monster threatening to destroy our planet.

 ** _"...IF ANYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD KARMA DID WHAT HE DID, BECAUSE IF NAGISA WAS HURT I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO PUNISH THIS CLASS."_**

He turned from the trembling class, back to the real victim of this situation, "As for you Nagisa, your own safety is always the first priority, even if others hate you for it, and even if you have to temporarily retre-"

He was cut short when he saw that there was no longer a shocked blunette standing on the table. Koro-sensei looked surprised, but I knew I was the one who was most surprised.

I could always pick out Nagisa first in the crowd, his appearance just always seemed to mesmerise me, drawing my gaze to him, but taking my gaze that was nearly permanently fixated on him off for just long enough to see our teacher, allowed the boy to vanish from every gaze in the class.

My heart was racing, but not nearly as much as I knew it would have been if he hadn't left the bomb on the table in plain sight. The class was no different, and even our teacher looked stunned.

Then out of the blue, a pale hand snaked it's way around our teachers neck, pulling his yellow body backwards as he grabbed ahold of his knife and dragged it across the skin, causing a massive slash to rip across him, a tentacle following suit and dropping to the floor from the very tip of it's joint.

Like a true assassin.

Koro-Sensei whirred away, taking the boys knife in another of his tentacles under a tissue, grinning broadly and flashing as red as my hair, with a circle over his expression as he laughed that signature laugh of his.

Despite his obvious wound, he looked almost as proud as I was.

"Very good Nagisa, I have reason to believe that if you had been more familiar with a knife, I would have been as good as dead by now~"

For once, I wasn't the only one awed into breathlessness by the blunette, the entire classroom of students was silent save for the laughter of the teacher himself. Good. So they were finally seeing some worth in Nagisa's life, I wouldn't have to despise them all anymore - even though I was a little jealous that I would no longer be watching him alone, I was relieved that this was how things should be.

* * *

I was walking home down the mountain that evening when I felt the air behind me stir. I turned around, fist bared and ready to kick a serpent or bring an offending human to an end. My fist stopped short of surprised round blue eyes, his pale hair flying about in the chilled breeze.

"Nagisa," I sighed happily, lowering my fist, upset that I hadn't been able to sense him, as well as the fact that was an inch away from hitting him, but proud that he had been so efficient as well as the fact that he was coming to see me.

He nodded, swallowing hard and bringing down his flinched shoulders. He looked up at me, it was all I could do not to drop to my knee's at the sight of him. I bit my lip, hiding the words that echoed in my mind _. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're so fucking beautiful._

"I wanted to thank you for what you did today. Not just for standing up for me, but for stopping me being killed in the end and for giving me the opening to sneak up on Koro-Sensei. T-Thank you Karma."

He wasn't quite bowing, but he kept his head down and his eyes looking at the floor like a submissive pet. My fingers wanted to extend out, wanted to caress he smooth side of his face and bring his gorgeous gaze to meet mine. But my courage abandoned me, my mind instead choosing to teasingly flick him on the cheek and say,"It's fine Nagisa, just think of me as a body guard to protect you until you finally hit puberty and bulk up."

He winced from my touch, but didn't look deterred, nodding his head before turning to leave. Despite the sweet gesture he had just showed me, seeing his back as he walked away left me feeling somewhat sunken inside.

* * *

 **Okay, I confess...Karma is slightly - and only slightly - Yandere in this.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Looking around me at the other students made me realise something... I was totally obsessed with Nagisa. Was it bad that with everyone else I lost interest so quickly, that I struggled to remember their names, that I would sometimes walk around in the evenings hoping I would accidentally bump into him? It wasn't like I was falling behind in class, nor was I losing out on my fair share of opportunities to kill Sensei, so aside from my infatuation being slightly concerning, this was otherwise not proving to be at all a problem. In act, so far it seemed only rewarding.

I smirk as I see him, walking all the way around the class without once releasing him from my gaze, just so I could go unnoticed when I crept up behind him, flicking some of the cyan hair from above his eyes. "What's so special about the outside that they don't have in here?" I questioned, leaning over his shoulders and looking out the window from as close to his perspective as I could be without coming of as a total creep.

The boy flinched as planned, but that was all. He didn't even make one of his cute little yelps. Blue eyes turned to me, patiently awaiting my reason for approaching him but I saw the slight irritation of being interrupted. "Good morning Karma." He mutters.

I scowl, tutting my head and looking down as if he had shamed me,"Where are your manners Nagisa, I asked you a question?"

He looked back at me slightly alarmed, but then brushed it off when he saw my grin. "Is it a crime to daydream?"

My ears had been perked, so I let my hands curve around the star shaped 'bunchies' at the sides of his head as if I could peer into his brain. "Daydreaming? Does Nagisa happen to have a crush?"

He cringed as my voice increased in volume so a few around us could here, several of them snickering. Somehow, Nakamura Rio appeared beside me, aiding my in my teasing by poking at his shoulder knowingly,"So she does huh? Who would the lucky guy be?"

The blunette sighed, turning back to her and explaining for apparently the thousandth time that he was a boy.

"Oh that's right, it's easy to forget. So who's the lucky guy?"

"I-I'm not like that! Really there is no crush..." He looked at me, pleading for me to help him, I only laughed and ignored him, placing my hand over his shoulder.

"I know what could help you with your love troubles Nagisa, I mean your hair's already pinched up all adorably like that, I couldn't hurt to slip yourself into a nice dress now and then~"

The blonde beside me nodded profusely,"I agree, no guy in his right mind would turn _our_ Nagisa down that way."

Our? This made me a bit angry even though he wasn't necessarily mine, but she had complemented him...

Nagisa sighed, turning back to face the outside, silently drowning us out in annoyance. He was met with a curious Kayano who was pink in the cheeks, gently asking why I had said such a thing. She didn't have a crush on him, did she? My eyes rolled, walking back to my seat.

"Honestly, I have no idea why he says these things." He responded drably.

* * *

We had a history project we were to complete in pairs, Koro-Sensei was currently going down the register finding out who was in who's group.

I knew for a fact my desired partner intended to be with his green haired friend, but I also knew she had a female friend wanting to be partners with her. I respected her for turning her down because she thought Nagisa would be alone. Of course Nagisa wouldn't be alone with me in the class. I guess I'd have a little competition for him. At times like this, I was glad I had Akabane in my name.

First on the register, I was asked who it was I'd planned to be partners with, and I turned to Nagisa smiling as I called out his name. The rest of the class didn't react, but I saw him visibly tense up, causing a frown to slip onto my face, hoping that was for surprise not for him being uncomfortable.

Kayano twisted and met my eyes nervously, silently questioning me for my intentions, she placed her hands on Nagisa's shoulder and mouth him something I couldn't hear.

"Are you okay with that Nagisa?" The octopus asked just to clarify, likely aware that unlike others, we hadn't communicated our plan.

"Y-Yeah."

* * *

When all the partners had been finally been listed, Nagisa came to the back to sit beside me, looking awkwardly, he dragged his eyes to my face. "Just so you know I'm not the best at history, but I'll try my hardest."

"That's fine of course Nagisa~ In fact, I already have an idea on how to make our presentation more interesting than the others."

He looked down at me, head tilting curiously,"What's that?"

I didn't need to answer, my evil grin gave it away.

"Karma I don't think this is a suitable idea at all." He complained, his face grim as he tried to walk in the long skirts he had borrowed from his mother. In my idea, we of course represented some of the outfits from the our topic while presenting. While I wasn't too enthralled at being dressed as a Samurai, the idea of Nagisa dressed as a traditional temple server more than motivated me to dig up my old costume.

"Nonsense, you look really great Nagisa, even the other boys will have their eyes glued to you."

At that moment, a pink blush dotted over his face, matching his pale blue shirt and long pink skirt way too perfectly.

His blue-diamond eyes looked up in response to the flash of my camera, allowing me to snap a quickie of his shocked face as well.

"K-Karma! Don't take a photo!" He demanded, bringing his loose sleeve up to hide the majority of his face. This only made my smile even wider.

"Why not?"

"Because it's just embarrassing, why would you need that anyway, it's not blackmail is it?" He cringed.

I grinned at him, sliding my phone back into my pocket,"Of course not, I'm keeping it in a special folder, though if you share your number with me I can send it to you as well."

Honestly, I had meant that casually. But realisation struck as soon as the words left my mouth. I'd just asked him for his number. The heat of nerves spreading up to neck made me want to hide my face, but I couldn't be so obvious. Hoping I hadn't freaked him out, I turned his way to see as he shook his head, determining that I was innocent, but holding his phone to mine until a chink was heard, muttering a quick "I'll text you when I get the chance, but I really don't need to _ever_ see that picture."

He sighed in defeat, holding his hands up at both of his sides, allowing a chain of movements to follow as his over sized sleeves stretched, swayed airily where his limbs no longer filled them, and the rest of his clothing tightened around his slim torso.

"Is it difficult to walk in?"

He bit his lip, taking a walk back and forwards around the small part of our building we were in. "I-I'll get used to it before everyone has to see me."

I couldn't help but feel like he was trying to convince himself that rather than me.

Like a brick had hit me on the head, my once genius idea didn't feel so tempting all of a sudden. I looked down to see his eyes had gone clear, almost like water. A pang of guilt knifed me in the stomach as he looked down emptily. Seeing him unhappy like this probably hurt me more than him.

"Nagisa," He stopped prancing and looked at me, blinking several times.

"I still think you look great, but if you're really not comfortable with this just say it and it won't be a problem." I added gently.

Once again, I sense the lack of trust in him, I knew that the gaze searching mine was nervously trying to find a hidden agenda. "Is that really fine?"

Pain hit me once more. Why was that a question? Why would he put pleasing me over pleasing himself like that?

"Of course it is, besides, I've got that picture now so I'm more than satisfied."

What I really wanted to say was _,"I'd much rather you wouldn't show yourself to the class this way. I think this appearance will be wasted on those who can't truly appreciate it."_ Of course, some things were best left unsaid.

"Then, I-I'd rather not dress up in front of the whole class. How am I going to convince them I really am I boy when I look like this? My own mother struggles to remember sometimes," He scoffed, "You should have seen how happy I was showing an interest in her clothing." He laughed lightly, the melodic sound easily dissolving my pain into admiration.

"Oh?"

"Ah.." He bit his lip as he explained,"She has a bit of a _thing_ for putting me in dresses you see."

I couldn't deny that if I was the parent of this beautiful creature, I'd want to dress him up as well. But there was something about the way he said it that rang alarm bells. It wasn't out of the ordinary for someone to feel embarrassment at that, but I had a sense that this was more than common embarrassment. It felt like he was truly ashamed... but why he would feel that way was beyond me.

"Is that why you wear your hair long?"

I could tell I'd instantly struck a nerve. He turned around after making a small humming sound, if he was trying to distract me, he was sure doing a good job when he begun fiddling with the knots at the back of the sash he wore, his nimble fingers trying to no avail as he picked at them.

"Let me help you with that." I chucked, easily having him freed within seconds. My fingers slid under the part that curved around his waist to loosen it before he could escape me, feeling slightly immoral by the joy I took of gently brushing the circumference of his body.

I know I was very soft with my touches. I had barely caressed him through his shirt, yet he jumped away from me like I had just pressed a hot iron into him.

Before I could make a single physical reaction, I was paralysed by the sudden gasp that escaped him.

Small shoulders hunched, and his arms curved around himself protectively. In an instant, the distance between us was far too great for me to reach out and console him, because right now, there was nothing I wanted more than to bring him to my arms and vent the many, many questions that threatened to erupt from me.

There was no way he could act like that didn't happen.

"Nagisa-"

"Training bruises." He said simply, eyes averted. Like he had a secret. "Sorry I startled you."

He added that way too quickly.

"Who the hell have you been training with?" The venom in my voice surprised me. I realised that I wanted to find out who had been rough with him and wring their throat.

"It's no one's fault really, I've been doing the same things as you in lessons." He explained.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one getting hurt. Did you say _bruises?_ You mean you have more than one?" I stepped forward, meaning to comfort him, but he took several steps back. His eyes looked frantic in a way I never wanted him to look at anyone, let alone myself.

"That's not what I meant, I meant as in generally. It'll be healed in two or three days anyway." He sulked as though he was ashamed.

"Who's your sparing partner?" I repeated. My eyes were narrowed, he looked fraught, waving his long sleeves. I hated to be so abrasive, but as if it were fate for me to see this, when he moved, his oversized shirt slipped the slightest off of his shoulders, giving my the view of a purple bruise about the size of a fist.

It happened again.

That thing that happened when I was with Nagisa. That thing where I seemed to lose so much control of myself. He gasped as I closed the gap between us, trapping him where he was. I yanked his sleeve down as far as I could. The large shirt fell victim of gravity, landing as a heap at his hips. Now that his pale chest was bare, I could see at least three bruises over his pale, pink, slim body.

His arms moved to cover himself, looking up at me in fear, "K-Karma!"

There was one on his shoulder, as I had seen, one larger than the others stretching from his ribs to his waist - as I had expected after that first flinch - and another on his left pectoral.

 _"Who did this to you?"_

He trembled, stalling and stuttering, giving me no choice but to slam my hand against the wall beside his head, causing him to blink and flinch back, as though I would actually dare to hit him.

"K-ka... get-t off..!"

I hated that weakness in his eyes, it made me feel sick with guilt, but not as guilty as I would feel if I didn't put an end to whoever was making these marks on him.

I repeated my question, only to be cut of by his sharp slap against my arm, which fell to my side in shock.

"I-told you Karma, it's nothing. So I bruise easily and I take my training seriously? That's all there is here and that's what I told you, so instead of acting like an a-asshole, jumping to conclusions and threatening me just get off of me and drop it." He snapped, shoving right passed me with his hands protectively, over his vulnerable self until he was in his makeshift changing room.

"I'm just trying to look out for you Nagisa!" I called carefully from outside the door. I wasn't not letting him leave me on a bad note like that.

The blunette muttered something incoherent from the other side of the door, but I knew by the tone that whatever it was equated to a 'piss off' so I just remained quiet until he came out and flinched when he saw I was still there.

I was politely told to leave, and by politely, I mean the way someone with hidden blood lust threatening to get out of control would. I decided to obey him, realising that I would be feeling terrible tonight.

* * *

"Nagisa, I'm sorry about yesterday" I sighed the next day in class. We had gotten sufficient marks in our assessment, but since then the boy had been avoiding me. Even now, he didn't even look at me, he didn't care to respond, only leaning down to write something in his notebook out of my vision.

"Can't you forgive me?" I leaned down over his shoulders, not meaning to be intrusive when my breath accidentally ghosted against his ear. His body broke out into deliciously affected shivers, and his small frame shook as he turned to face me angrily.

"Sit down Karma." He grumbled.

To me, this sounded more like an invitation than a discouragement. The fact that he spoke meant he was at least considering forgiving me, so I decided it was safe to stick around.

"What's this?" I did as he said, but not at my seat as hinted, rather, on his desk where I could see clearly that what was on his lap was not just an ordinary school book. My hand swiped down easily, catching him off guard and prying the small sketchbook from his lap.

"Karma!" He exclaimed, standing up and leaning over my to try and reach it, but it was in my hand stretched far back from his reach.

"Ah ah ah, first you forgive me." I teased.

He only glared, looking at me like he was contemplating kicking my in the face or stamping on my toes. "Very well then," I stood up, sliding back so there was now the desk between us as I flipped open his notebook at a random page.

My hand stopped when I saw a page full of intricate doodles that looked quite professional,"You're very good Nagisa." I hummed adoringly, flicking the pages to see more drawings of knives, hands, assassination related diagrams of Koro-sensei and several other drawings.

"Give it back Karma!" He called out, slashing at me with his palm. I laughed, taking this as a shy joke, stepping to the side, as I turned the page. My grinning eyes met his playfully, holding it as I looked down, turning the page to meet a face I knew I'd recognised somewhere.

The drawing was good alright. Too good.

"Nagisa this is-"

Suddenly, the book was snatched from my hands. I looked up to see he had slammed in down shut on the table. But even though it had been snatched, the afterimage of the detailed sketch still lingered in my mind. The portrait drawing of Gakushu Asano.

"Why can't you just leave me alone!?" His voice alerted my attention, blurring the blind hatred to meet his gaze in confusion as his voice grew in volume. "I never asked for your distorted version of concern and I certainly don't want it! This is none of your business so why can't you just ignore me like the rest of the class damn it!?"

My mouth opened to speak, to release the fumble of words describing what made him so special and worthy of my attention. But he was out the door before I knew it, sketch book in tow.

I turned to Koro-Sensei, gauging his reaction in shock, only know realising that his voice had been loud enough to attract the attention of the class. All eyes were either on me or the door, "I should go afte-"

"Leave him." Koro-Sensei spoke disapprovingly. "He'll come around. Karma, you sit down for now, but come and see me after class."

* * *

To put it briefly, the gigantic yellow octopus apparently thought it was best if I did as Nagisa wanted and left him his space. I explained to him that the odds of that happening where lower than the odds of us killing him. At this, he'd sighed and told me at the very least to stop teasing him, and that he was a very delicate boy.

That was what pissed me off though. The Nagisa I had known wouldn't have fit that description to someone who truly knew him. Yes, he could be quiet and he was often picked on, but he had never taken it to heart like he had just now, he had always been either unfazed by it, or relaxed enough to smile back. In the end of our little argument, the result was me storming out just as Nagisa had, declaring that if he was gonna act like such a baby and be hurt by my teasing, that was all the more evidence that he needed my protection.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Despite how strong my words were when I told the teacher how dead wrong he was, despite the way I sounded so confident in what I was doing that nothing could deter me on the inside, the truth was I was overwhelmed with the opposite kind of feeling. Insecurity.

Nagisa's words echoed in my head as I walked out and down the mountain and out of the school grounds alone. Koro-Sensei's words followed. Then was the thought of the boy's angered expression towards me. Finally, most aggravatingly of all, was that impressing drawing in the love of my life's sketch book of a boy I absolutely despised. No doubt my aura was bitter as I kicked my way into the train station, it sent the message that I wanted to be left alone, though in reality, I found myself actually wishing I would run into Asano outside of school so I could finally beat the shit out of him.

I was on the train headed home, so I wasn't surprised to sense someone sinking down in the empty seat beside me. I was surprsied however when a familar voice spoke up,"You look troubled Karma, did Koro-Sensei give you a hard time?"

I barely noticed when a student from my own class sat down beside me. I turned to see Nakamura. It wasn't odd for this girl to chat to me, out of the rest of the class I really didn't mind her, we seemed to have teasing Nagisa in common. She wore a sly looking half smile she often wore, suspicious to me as I knew how crazy the other E class students could get.

"It's not that." I scoffed, kicking my feet against the side of my chair with the growing urge to hit someone. I looked around hopefully, knowing there was no use picking a fight with middle-aged business men and school girls.

"What else could it be?" She urged.

Ignoring her, I turned to the window, trying to not look as helplessly guilty as I felt. I saw her smirk in the reflection, and at first I didn't pay any mind to it until she flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder and spoke,"You know after Nagisa stormed out like that he didn't go home. He actually climbed to the top of some tree nearby and buried himself in that sketchbook of his."

My aggravation grew with each syllable, giving my mind the excuse to flame my vision with Nagisa's drawing and angered expression all. over. again.

I couldn't do this anymore. I had to find him and I had to apologise. I stood up, tempted to walk away, only to realise I was on a moving train that was only taking me further from him. My classmate gave me a look like I had fallen into her trap, giving me no choice but to talk to her. Sinking back down in desperation, I raked my hand through my messy hair and huffed down with my elbows on my knees.

"Alright. I'll tell you." If I wasn't so burdened myself, there was no way I would have been sharing my sob story with someone like her who I had seen tease on multiple occasions, but at this point I didn't care. Girls where supposed to be good at this stuff anyway, right?

"I...I'm stressed out because I..uh like this girl I know, and she's pretty amazing. But she was a childhood friend I knew for a long time in the past, so me coming back and meeting her again with all these feelings is just weird."

My eyes blinked, cringing at myself, daring her to looking at me judgmentally or to straight up burst out laughing. To my surprise, neither of these came true. Instead she just gave me a thoughtful look, encouraging me to continue.

"As well as this, this girl's personality is different now; she's evasive, more sensitive and quieter, it's as if she's hiding something... like something is wrong. It really pisses me off that I try so hard but she never notices me or opens up to me. I-It's just wearing me out with more guilt every time I see her, but every day I _don't_ see her is even worse. What am I supposed to do? I've already seen how awkward things get when I try something more forward like asking for her number, or getting us alone together... at this point I'm considering giving up going at this painfully slow pace and becoming a stalker for all I care!"

"Wow! Wow. Calm down Karma!" She scolded, glancing around at several older men that gave us odd looks, she cringed and took my sleeve pulling me to the other side of the cart. "Trust me, that's exactly how you shouldn't go about it. Right now I'd say you just need patience, give her a chance to get used to you but don't give up, and while you shouldn't hassle her so often, don't let go either... you need to press but press at the right times, you know?"

I looked at her with one eyebrow raised. I understood where she was coming from, but when she put it like that it sounded so much more complicated. Why was I even taking advice from her anyway? I had no solid prove she was good at this, and maybe this advice would be useless when Nagisa wasn't a girl anyway!

"Is that quitting I see in your eyes!?" She pointed her finger accusingly, narrowing her eyes, "I mean it. The more she see's you the more she thinks about you, talk to her more, make her laugh more, spend more time with her and if you can't be involved with her romantically, by becoming her friend she's bound to open up, then I guess you can take it from there. Who is this girl anyway? Does she go to Kunugigaoka?"

"No." I deadpanned, not wanting anyway for her to be able to link this back. I feared that I'd maybe already given too much away, not that I'd let her see it.

She sunk back,"That's a shame, I could have helped you in some tricks y'know?" She winked at me before standing up,"Listen, I'm off at the next stop, but if you really want this to go far, take my advice and use those good looks to have that girl all over you."

The girl walked off laughing musically as she disappeared out the door. I didn't want her to see me doing this things immediately after to Nagisa, but after today, I was serious. I felt renewed. Never before had I felt I only had a strict time to woo him, but now it seemed obvious that there were other threats about. It was to be expected of course, after all, he was the embodiment of perfection.

Come tomorrow, Nagisa would barely be able to look away from me.

* * *

"I've come to apologise Nagisa, your drawings were really good so I didn't think you would be so protective. I'm sorry."

Act like I hadn't seen it. That was the best option, I thought.

His eyes remained in front of him stubbornly when he said quietly,"You should be."

"You kept me up all night you know, the guilt was excruciating. That hurt look on your face, those big sad eyes and trembling lips. Show me a smile to erase the memory, won't you?"

I was so close I practically whispered. His scent wafted up and enchanted me, smelling delightfully like some brand of baby bubble bath.

I waited for him to turn to me, but it never came. His eyes were still trained on the window as always. The damn window would have been smashed at my heel by now if it had any glass. My finger reached out and pinched him on the cheek.

"Uw!"

His eyes looked down at where I had pinched him sourly, expression full of the colour pink. That sound brought a kind of energising drug into my system, drowning me with the urge to get even closer to him.

He had finally showed me his pretty face, so I guess he was just more receptive to a more physical approach. Besides, the feel of any skin (as long as it was his) felt amazing to me.

"That sound was just like a little kitten Nagisa~ I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm tougher than that."

"Are you sure, you don't mind if I do it again?"

He turned his head sharply in the other direction, but this time I used my other hand, which had snaked around him from behind and met his face, pricking him in the nose this time.

"Uw!"

Laughter emitted from me, as I wondered to myself how someone could be so immensely cute. "Cut it out" He pouted, now sitting with his hands in front of his face.

"As you wish," I purred, sliding my finger down the side of his exposed neck until his collar stopped me, before I headed off back to my seat.

* * *

NEUTRAL POV

* * *

Nagisa was getting annoyed as of late. He was glad Karma had reunited with him, as he was an old friend, but... anyone would think the redhead's actions as of late were more than a little bit out of the ordinary.

Whenever he walked into the class, Karma would be there waiting for him, and if he was earlier, Karma would walk in and head straight over to him, whenever he turned to face the boy, he was met with golden orbs so intently focused on him it left him burning with nerves. Eventually he tried to stop looking, but that only lead to one of the things that annoyed him the most, he would simply take his chin, or his hair, and twist his head to face him in a way that made him feel _so_ uncomfortable. No matter how many times he would glare and tell him to stop, the taller boy just never took him seriously.

Nagisa found himself swallowing the many, many urges he had where he wanted to shout at Karma and pick at him for once.

But just when he turned to face the boy, just when he felt the smallest bit of courage enough to face him with a glare, a single sight at the boy would remind him of their difference in power. Even though he had stuck to small pinches and disturbing comments, the blunette knew there was so much more the redhead could do to him.

Karma had always been so strong, famous for his tendencies to loose his sanity and turn into a violence craving sadist. He had witnessed many of his fights first hand, all of which he had been victorious, leaving the others either in a heap, knocked down or running off in the opposite direction. These people weren't just from their school but included high school students, adults and even the occasional thug. Nagisa could be brave at times, but he wasn't stupid.

"If you don't show me your notebook I'll just have to take it from you.." the boy asked, once again crowding his desk.

"Please don't." He sighed, eyes on the ground.

"I'm not making any promises." Karma's hands walked up the notebook centred at his chest, making him clutch his arms around it even tighter, "Come on, just a little tour, your drawing really are amazing you know. You're definitely gonna be my partner next time we have a joint art project."

It wasn't a question. It was a demand. The blunette nodded silently, though he wished he could complete at least one project with an actual friend.

It wasn't the constant teasing that got on his nerves, the odd comments about him being clumsy, silly, embarrassing or a weirdo for sitting in the corner and not socialising, oddly enough it was the compliments. It didn't take long for him to realise why; Karma looked at him like he was a girl.

That was what made him sick most of all. He wanted to scream that he wasn't a girl, to break down and scream it as loudly as it could so people would finally understand. Every time he was looked at in that way, Nagisa felt this horrible sense of worthlessness growing inside his chest, as if every taunt made up a wire to connect together a destructive bomb.

 _Nagisa you're so pretty. You're hair is cute like this. You're so small. You're so skinny. You're waist is thinner than half the girls in our class'. You're eyelashes are so thick and long. You're skin is so soft. I bet you'd look so good in a skirt._ They may as well have just gone out with it and said _Why don't you just chop it off and become the good girl everyone wanted you to be?_

"Are you feeling alright?" His eyes met Karma's frown, before he snatched his gaze away and nodded nervously, swallowing the lump of iron in his throat. In reality he of course was not okay.

It was inevitable that he was going to be bullied. The least he could do was behave as best as he could so Karma wouldn't lose his patience with him. Slim fingers flicked lightly at one blue star of hair.

"Don't worry Nagisa, when we go out to practice, if anyone wonders why there's a girl on the pitch I'll set them straight right before your eyes~"

* * *

"I had an Idea." The redhead mused, leaning in after their sports training session. He and Nagisa had stayed behind to try another attempt at Koro-Sensei while he was distracted on looking for improvements. It didn't get that far unfortunately, and as a result, the two where left as the only ones in the changing room while everyone else had either gone home or gone elsewhere. Though the girls could still be heard from here engaged in their own training session back outside.

"That doesn't reassure me." The blunette muttered, stepping out of his gym clothes as he faced the other way. He cringed at the feel of eyes on him, but didn't turn around, quickly taking a hold of his uniform and stepping one leg in before his arm was grabbed.

"Wait."

His heart skipped a beat. When had Karma even gotten this close? The hand was firm enough to stop him moving, causing him to look up to see a face not that far from his. Although Karma's words were directed at him, and his body pressed up so painfully close to his barely covered one, the boy's head was tilted upwards, his eyes to the side as if keenly avoiding the sight of the smaller with a very visible blush on his face.

"You didn't even ask what it was."

"Karma..." Nagisa swallowed, head tilted back trying to get a better look, wondering if there was a reason he was so embarrassed.

"I uh... well the girls are all out training, so I managed to get my hands on something." He let go, the warmth of his skin disconnecting as he turned back to his bag and pulled out something that made Nagisa's head spin.

"The girl's spare uniform~ I couldn't help letting my mind wonder earlier about what you'd actually look like in one of these."

"Karma.." He repeated, frustration growing. Fear building.

The redhead could tell from one look that his actions were disapproved of, but this was just a sight he needed in his memories.

"Pretty please Nagisa, we're both boys, it's fun to dress up sometime, I know you're not really a girl."

As he walked towards him, the blunette shuddered, feeling overexposed.

"N...ngh.. I really don't think that's appropriate.."

His back hit the solid wood of the wall. Before he knew it, he was face to face with his classmate, and the offending item so much as brushed up against his skin, even it's material made him want to puke.

"Don't worry, no one will see. You don't have to be shy about your body if that's what it is."

"Kar-"

"I'll let you change yourself."

"I don't want to."

He finally managed to say it. Finally brave enough to voice his own wishes.

When he saw Karma's face, he instantly regretted it. The boy looked shocked. His eyes met Nagisa's, lips parted, body still. Unbeknownst, to him, that very look of surprise sent a hurricane of emotions down into his friends mind, filling it with questions, was he angry? Would he shout at him? Would he finally go over the edge and hurt him?

"Okay.I'll do it." The redhead shrugged, face slightly pink.

Nagisa's tensions sank for a brief moment. Only to return having increased tenfold when the taller boy knelt down before him and lifted his leg, slipping it out of its pathetic cover and into the ridiculously short gym shorts that were likely even scantier than the pale blue cotton boxers he presently wore.

"That's not w-what I-I meant! K-Karma!" He exclaimed, nearly falling straight down when he felt those warm hands wrap around his leg and guide him into the clothes without a single strain. His desperate complaint was inevitably swallowed by the rapid, dizzying churning of his stomach at being treated like a weak, controllable doll like this.

The material of the item was way too soft. It was way to short, and the hips were too wide, reminding him that his body didn't meet everyone's desired requirements. The front lacked the space he needed, clinging to him, making it clear that he was in the wrong. That this was wrong. That he was in the wrong body from what everyone wanted him to be in.

His sickness turned him into a objection-less toy, letting his clothes be stripped off of him without a fight. He had no power. He had no strength. His legs were trembling, but not as much as his heart and stomach was. His clothes were tight, but not as tight as the lump in his throat that had expanded to the point that it nearly suffocated him.

His eyes stopped pleading as his head turned down, unwilling to look when the redhead suddenly stood and arose, looking up at his handy work as if proudly admiring an model he had just made himself.

Golden eyes shimmered in amusement, taking in the pale, slightly pink shaped legs that crossed over each other nervously, leading up a long, slim path to the almost skin tight curve of his slightly thickened thighs, hidden by dark blue shorts. Leading on, his flat stomach could have very well have been a girls while hidden behind that top. It wasn't even too tight for him, it fit quite perfectly, clinging to his shoulders and waist, yet loosening out at the top of his toned arms and flat chest.

He was barely able to control the gleam of want he felt, when he finally took in the face of his masterpiece. His hair hid his eyes the best they could, but those diamonds shone through the thickest of covers, looking straight ahead distantly. His trembled nervously, his cheeks dotted with a sweet pink that matched his bitten, kissable lips.

 _"Nagisa you look adorable. You'll let me take a photo won't you?"_

Another sickening question. Another compliment, to someone who wasn't who he was but who everyone wanted to him. He'd had enough of it all.

Suddenly, a sharp cry sounded out. Karma looked grieved, his speech cut off when he saw all the emotions he needed to see reflected in one pained glare in his direction. A fist jabbed sharply into his chest, rendering him speechless and frozen as Nagisa made a bolt for the door.

"Wait! You can't go out dressed like-"

Before he could escape, that same hands that had deprived him of his pride and power did so again my gripping him so hard he couldn't escape. Pain jerked through him, his knees finally giving out as he fell down onto the wooden floor, the impact lessened by arms folding around him.

"Nagisa..."

The boy couldn't hear anything. All he could make out was his own name, and occasional words in a comforting voice. He didn't need words, he could fill in the blanks himself, Karma was asking what the hell was wrong with him, wasn't he?  
He was asking why he was such a freak, why he was so stupid for thinking he could escape, why was he getting so worked up over nothing? Why couldn't he be as strong as other boys? Why was he always seen as weak?

What did people see in him that made him such an automatic target?

* * *

KARMA'S POV

* * *

I had never clung onto someone so hard in my life. I held the boy I loved's warm, small, trembling form in my arms as if I was keeping him together, when really I knew I was selfishly keeping him to myself.

What trouble would I be in if he were to go out dressed like that right now?

His hair agaisnt my neck was soft. His breath against my shoulder was sharp and rapid. Once again, I had made a shamefully foolish mistake. Once again, I had no way of knowing he'd react like that, but I still felt the burden of it regardless. It was stupid of me. It was a prank gone wrong. Terribly wrong. There was so much about this boy I thought the world of that was mystery, so much I didn't know.

Being around him was like having to walk through a mine field in the dark to cross over to the safe haven behind it.

"Nagisa." I tried after a while. The way we were right now, half lying half sitting, we were a breath apart physically yet a year of separation and a newly built wall away from each other mentally.

I just didn't understand how he could have changed so much, how fragile he was now. Why he wouldn't confide in me so I could help him.

"Let's get you back into your own clothes."

He stirred against me, and slowly leaned back, eyes downcast. My hands reached out to meet the delight of his face in my hands, but stopped short, thinking against it before reaching back to drag his discarded clothes to us.

"I'm sorry."

As soon as I released him, he pulled away silently. I saved him the humiliation of watching him change, turning back before completely exiting the door just to say, "I don't know how I made you feel, but I want to know, as bad as it is, I want to experience what you've been through so I can say that I truly am sorry, tell me what's wrong, please."

I waited, knowing when I saw the pale of his exposed back revealed, that I shouldn't stay any longer. He wasn't going to accept my apology. He wasn't going to speak to me at all. Several moments of silence passed between us.

Sadness seemed like it with infectious at this point.

I had hurt Nagisa. I had hurt him when I really wanted nothing more than to love him. As he turned away from me, I was able to see the contrast of all the purple-black bruises on his torso, feeling a new kind of helplessness. It wasn't the pain of guilt that was the worst, it was the pain of _knowing_ that despite what he had said about training, someone else was hurting him too. They were hurting him worse. Most disgustingly, they were getting away with it.

Whoever they were, and whatever they had done, the result had turned my most precious person into the self destructive ticking time bomb they were today.

* * *

"DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!" The petulant voice from behind me finally broke into the wall of my thoughts.

I turned, back to face the voice with gritted teeth, not willing to care about anyone else's shit when my own problems were eating me alive. I was fully prepared to knock them blind - when I realised there was no way I could get away with doing something like that to the much shorter, frailer girl in my class. Kayano, what could she want?

The angered girl with green hair continued on towards me, stopping suddenly at an offensive distance from me and slamming her index into my chest. "You freaking bully, you sicken me!" She hissed, eyes narrowed into hazel slits.

"Nagisa told me everything you did to me with tears running down his face, trying to keep it in! How long do you think you can keep up with this, how long do you think you can get away with treating him like shit this way!" She looked at me in utter distaste, "I swear you're damn lucky I'm not going to tell Koro-Sensei and the Head of this school everything this second-"

"Nagisa was crying?" My voice sounded dry and scratchy. I ignored everything else she had said, but that one piece of information had me extremely on edge.

"Yes." She scowled,"Crying because you forced him into girls clothing when you've known him long enough to know what that does to him. I don't even want to know what else you've put him through..."

"I swear, I would never intentionally hurt him...I didn't know. Nagisa wasn't anything like this before."

"Maybe you just didn't know him as well as you thought."

I ignored her resentful comment,"Something changed this past year. Someone did this to him."  
At that moment, her eyes looked down at his shoes and dragged up to his eyes showing such disgust and hatred towards what she saw, he actually felt a bit taken aback,"You mean someone like you?"

My breath hitched. I felt her words like a slap, knowing fully well that she was right. Those words wouldn't leave my mind for days now, and she knew it.

 _"If you so much as make him frown, I don't care how big you think you are, you'll regret it."_


	5. Chapter 5

**This is the chapter where things start getting a bit dark...**

* * *

Chapter Five

I never thought silence could hurt this badly. When I walked into class the next day,the first thing I did was scan for Nagisa. Though that wasn't anything new, this time I felt more of an urgency. My vision came across his empty seat, sending me sinking down into my own dejectedly. When the boy finally walked in, we had barely a second until that octopus plummeted in with his usual attitude for learning.

I spent the rest of the day like that, looking at Nagisa with longing eyes, willing him to look back and tell me he forgave me. In my mind, I imagined he walked towards me at lunch and said he needed to talk to me in private, telling me anything and everything. I willed him to trust me and make the first move, because at this point I was too cautious of my own movements.

Desperation arose to the level where I would have been content if he decided to slap me in front of the whole class. Instead, he acted as if my existence wasn't even there, which hurt so much more.

I tried to get near him on numerous occasions, only to have that friend of his wheel him in another direction. As glad as I was he had at least someone else willing to steer him from danger, _it was beginning to annoy me._

I'd never stooped so low as to hit a little girl, but there were other ways of expressing anger and they were beginning to appeal to me. I went home that night and slept so rough I ended up having to leave the house at five in the morning to clear my head, walking in a chalky fog with barely any light and barely any life gave me the silence I need to really think. I came to realise that I was nothing but a burden to Nagisa.

Since I had joined the E class, I couldn't think of nearly as many benefits my presence had for Nagisa as I would of liked. I couldn't even recall a single smile from him that wasn't slightly uncomfortable. I had brought only misery to him.

Maybe it would hurt me to be without him, but if he wasn't hurting, that would be fine... Well, it would have been if I had some kind of clarification that he really wasn't hurting.

This torturous night was only the first, to think what a week without him now that I knew he was in trouble would do to me. Briefly, it crossed my minds what the odds of me coming across his house were. I ended up convincing myself that I would turn a corner and miraculously find Nagisa looking out the window of a dimly lit home, running out from an attacker into my arms or simply bumping into me on a walk of his own and saying "Hi."

Of course, once again my imagine failed to be brought to life.

* * *

The next day had hope. I arrived at school before any of the staff, so I ended up slipping easily into the building I wondered why they even locked still anyway. What could I do, other than walk around, stare at Ritsu's blank screen, poke around at Koro-Sensei's desk and stick some pieces of a cut-up knife on his chair in multiple places? I soon got bored, delighting in sitting down at Nagisa's desk, tucking myself in comfortably and looking out the window he often appeared to be so rapt with.

Today was the sports tournament we had been training for recently, so to me that was an golden opportunity as the pestering Kayano Kaede would be busy with her own sports activities separate from the boys.

"K-Karma, you're in my seat." A distant voice pulled me from my thoughts.

My eyes blinked open. Dizzy grogginess made me frown. Shit. I hadn't realised I'd fallen asleep, yet when I blinked my eyes, the empty, dark classroom suddenly appeared to be half filled and buzzing with life and sound which somehow hadn't already awoken me. Before me, two bright water coloured eyes looked down at me plainly.

"Nagisa~" I chimed, leaning up, only to see him flinch away, dragging his eyes from mine submissively. The sight left me lost for words, but I didn't need them as Kayano, scowled,"listen to him and move, please Karma."

She said sweetly, knowing that she didn't need to appear as a threat. The way things were, I wouldn't dare risk exploding at her if it meant upsetting our common friend.

"Right, of course.."

I walked away, keeping my eyes on Nagisa's until I was back to my own boring seat. He looked just as downcast and drained as always.

How long would this go on? I was right before, whatever _this_ was, it was without a doubt causing suffering for the boy. Ignoring him now would be impossible.

* * *

The tournament went well of course with Koro-Sensei's borderline illegal tactics, the heavy training and our improving skills in sports thanks to assassination training, but unlike everyone else, I was far from relieved.

This damn tournament shouldn't have been mandatory, Nagisa should have sat out, but no matter how many times I asked if he was alright and if he wanted to sit out, he would shake his head and quietly dismiss me. I was tortured by sights, the sight of Nagisa wincing in pain as he caught the ball in his way that I knew hadn't been thrown hard. The painful sight of faint purple peeking out from under the sleeve of his shirt as he swung the bat. The sight of him clearly exhausted as he persistently dragged his body as if it were made of marble across the field, not letting the class down by slowing his feet or even concerning us by letting it show on his face, but in this mild weather, with the little he had done compared to our usual training, I knew that the thin layer of sweat above his pale skin could only be a sign of pain and illness.

 _Seriously, the person doing this needed to be fucking wrecked into agony times ten._ I would be glad to deliver their karma to them, but the only way I could find that out was through Nagisa, and it seems I'd forgotten how useful his small frame could be when it came to avoiding someone.

One moment he was there beside me, within my reach as I squeezed pass and reached out to him, the next he had vanished into a blur of other taller student in their own similar uniforms. I cursed under my breath, and looked around for him, but it was hopeless. Finding him wouldn't change a thing. It was hopeless.

While my hands were tied, someone else was using their's to hurt Nagisa

The door slammed behind me as I walked into the changing room - for once we were allowed to use the main campus' because the field we used was down away from our own. In these we actually had individual cubicles, showers and zero risk of splinters stabbing us from the walls, unlike our own.

I wanted to see some bastard fearfully cowering from me, but the sound only went unheard in the loudly cheering room of happy teenage boys.

I ended up waiting ages for a shower in the end, and cooling myself with water as cold as it could possibly come, coming out to see the last person leaving out the door.

I sighed, sinking down and pulling on my clothes at the speed desired by me, glad to be alone when I heard a hiss from the showers I had just left. The sound of an object clattering to the floor, followed by a gasp, followed by a light groan entered my ears as I left my cubicle, standing beside the one locked shower in a row of opened ones that I hadn't seemed to notice.

"Are you alive in there? Everyone's left." I informed half halfheartedly.

There was silence. But to me, it seemed more stubborn than medically induced.

"Nagisa, that's you in there isn't it?"

I leaned against the door, closing my eyes, trying to hear something other than the light pattering of water on the tiles.

"Well, if you're gonna be silent, you might as well listen to what I have to say. I-I'm sorry for acting like an idiot and forcing you to do things that make you uncomfortable. But it's not just that, for everything really, me treating you like shit and saying things I know don't make you comfortable, I'm really sorry Nagisa. I guess even if you don't say anything I'm a bad friend for not being more attentive to you. "

In my head, a total of twenty-three seconds passed before he spoke up, in a voice that was barely heard, "You should just leave me alone like the others."

"That I can't do. I know you're hurting Nagisa, and seeing you like this not being able to do anything is hurting _me_. The longer I stay away from you without knowing what's causing your pain, the worse mine gets. Believe me, I'd like to do as you say and make you happy by obeying you, but I physically can't."

Before I can say anything else, I hear a click, moving just in time for the door to open, revealing a shorter boy with pale-pinkish skin standing before me, his eyes glaring at the door as he walked out in nothing but a white towel around his waist.

I didn't realised how dry my throat was until it was forced to swallow, drinking in the sight of radiant beauty and the scent of fresh soap and the shampoo from the soft, clear-blue feathers poking damply from his head onto his bare shoulders.

I could feel my heart pounding me dizzy in my chest, seeing nostalgic sight of the boy that started it all. The same boy with that determined look that had made me fall in love from a young age. I'd forgotten how great he looked with his hair down like that.

The urge to reach out and pull his warmth into my arms, to run my fingers through that mess of layered blue hair and turn that face all pink with pleasure drowned my thoughts and self control until he had already stepped forward.

The only thing that lead me ashore after that, was the realisation that the bruising on his torso had gotten worse.

He had told me they would heal by now. But no, his shoulder was now clear, but the colour on his chest and ribs had only been diluted to a less vivid shade of purple, and the others had shrunk yet not disappeared. What made my blood boil was that the thin line around the top of his arm (clearly chosen intentionally as it would be covered by the sleeve) resembled fingers vicing around him. It was new, and it was most certainly not a training injury.

Finally, I could see the forming of a new bruise beginning to set in on his flat, thinly muscled stomach.

This looked the most recent. It had to be from yesterday or this morning, so there was one obvious choice.

"Nagisa," My fingers closed around his wrist, so lightly it was like holding a new born's palm, "Is it your mother. Is she doing this to you?"

All that was visible in his eyes was offence,"No. I told you it's from training and I told you to mind your own business." The boy mumbled, once again breaking free of my desperate touch and leaving me in empty darkness. Of course, I was still not trust worthy.

Another jab of guilt hit me. Another jab of pain.

With nothing else to do, I finished up in the changing room and turned off all the lights. Nagisa was likely long gone by now, so I didn't waste the energy after a long day of sports to rush home.

I took my time walking out of the school that evening, and I guess that even though this seemed coincidental, there was really some purpose in this. As if part of fates plan, as if my pleas of desperation while trying to find the one responsible had been heard, I ended up walking passed a darker part of our old school. The sports field we had played in was just beside me, in a sort of cage that prevented stray balls from escaping with the thick forest trees leading up to the mountain behind that. From here, all I could see at the foot of those trees was a floor of shadow. But no one would see at this time. Even if anyone happened to, once they saw who was responsible and saw who was the victim, they wouldn't care.

It was a perfect blind spot that would let them get away with it.

But I didn't see, I heard. One weak sound of pain emanated from that darkness, bringing my gaze and eventually my body at the fastest simultaneously silentest speed until I could see everything. Fueled by a sense that something was wrong.

That sound wasn't the kind that would be released after a single punch. It wasn't the sound you'd make after several. It was the sound someone would make after weeks - maybe even months - of abuse when they had long since given up hope of fighting back.

The light from the moon only made the shadows even darker. But one good thing about that, was that I could slip in as close as I could until I saw the inevitable sight I had been dreading seeing.

I had been holding my breath without realising from the moment I heard that first gasp. Since then, more and more sounds had followed after, leading me on a path closer to them until I was even able to hear the brutal impact of a fist connecting with whatever unfortunate place received their blow.

My fears had been confirmed when I saw six silhouettes. One was standing just in front of me, watching the scene play out like some kind of deranged prison warden, I didn't need to see his face to know who he was from that despicable superior aura he emitted. From that, I could easily fill in the blanks of the others, who like everyone else there were facing the final figure.

He stood slumped over, his arms at the side being held by the others, his head hanging down, those agonised whimpers making me wonder how these bastards could be so inhumane.

Suddenly, the silverish haired head looked up and I saw two diamond eyes looking tearfully, pleading and yearning at the figure closest to me, so close from seeing me yet so far it made the blank blacks in my vision go red.

When his lips parted, and his throat strained, that frail, imploring voice released that single name and I realised everything I had been missing before.

* * *

NAGISAS POV

* * *

I regretted leaving Karma as much as I had yesterday. A growing part of me wanting to run to him - the only person who hadn't given up on me - and apologise for everything. But how could I do that to him?

He had been so patient with me, he didn't deserve to have to put up with my weakness.

The kindest thing I could do was distance myself, not that I was strong enough to turn back and tell him this. I know he felt terrible after what he did last time, but really I wasn't angry with him at all, most people would have fun dressing up like that, but for my pathetic self of course, I was reduced to a dizzy, sobbing, sickening mess.

 _I bet if I was a girl things would have been different._

Maybe that way me being friends with Kayano wouldn't be so hated. Maybe that way my mother wouldn't make me pretend and grow my hair out. Maybe I wouldn't have to dress like a girl in front of relatives and maybe I wouldn't have to hide the feelings I had for-

"Ah!" I winced, feeling hands jab sharply into my shoulders, slamming me back onto the cage wall. My head turned up in shock, seeing one after the other of five figures leering down on me.

I bit my lip, the pain from my aching wounds already stinging, the anticipation of their attack already filling my stomach up with anxiety that creased my eyebrows and made my lips quiver. Not today. Not again. It was getting harder and harder to endure when the bruises just built up.

"I-It's already too late, I h-h-have to go h-home." I daringly made a move to step away, but I was slammed backwards at full force.

"You think we give a shit about that?"

"P-Please...I-"

"Shut up." A curved hand I thought would grab me reached out, but instead of grabbing me in a strange, I was slapped in the throat as I pressed up against the side, they all laughed at me flinching, many taking the time to spit insults down at me, flicking me and lightly slapping me so I didn't really have the excuse to cry out. It many have been better then a thorough beating, but it was still frustrating. With my back on the cage, I made small steps that appeared as reflexes, but really I was slowly leading them to the left, as far as I possibly could until there was no more gate behind me to trap me.

"Hey! GET BACK HERE E CLASS! WE'RE ANGRY WITH YOU!"

I jumped backwards, turning and sprinting, knowing that I was getting further and further from the exit of our school, but also knowing that they wouldn't be able to follow me all the way up the mountain's dangerous path. It was hard to see, and already bad enough to know that there were snakes lingering about that had no problem seeing at all, but I kept running until I was weaving between trees.

The comfort of darkness told me I would lose them soon, but before I could be fully comforted, pain twisted from my side, and I realised I had barely been breathing. Of all the times to be let down by more poor physical state, it had to be now instead of a game or a training exercise.

I slowed for a split second, only to be suddenly halted by a hand slipping around my collar, spinning me around and shoving me firmly (but somehow less aggressively than the others) into a nearby tree. I knew without looking who had caught me.

Although, this didn't make me any less prepared for the calculating cold purple eyes that looked down coldly at me or the strawberry blonde hair that swept them perfectly. Guilt consumed me, my gaze meeting his shamefully, knowing I shouldn't have even attempted to run from him.

"Gakushuu." I whispered, and he sighed, his friends soon catching up. I should have known he would be with them, even if I hadn't seen him behind all those boys who were much taller than me.

His finger brushed my neck, and then my collar bone, smiling down at me despite the lack of care in his eyes. Shivers ran down my spine as he spoke,"They're angry at losing to your pathetic class, you can't blame them for wanting revenge. Do it so the rest of your class won't have to suffer Nagisa, let them vent their anger."

My struggle had vanished before he had even finished speaking. As if to reward me, he looked down pleased, brushing my cheek before walking off and leaning against a tree with his hands in his pockets.

Somehow, I couldn't take my eyes from his as the others swarmed me. It reminded me why I was doing this, why I wasn't fighting back when I could probably avoid their attacks all together. Even as their arms locked mine, and as the first fist knocked roughly into my stomach, my gaze reminded fixated on the hollow, purple orbs that watched from a distance without warmth or concern. Sure, they were the nerds of the school and their punches weren't amazingly painful, but when there were four of them and they kept hitting, it eventually built up not only on the sensitised skin, but inside me, a ball of anger and pain threatening me to explode with the next hit as I tried desperately to stay quiet.

One of them suddenly elbowed my in the arm, and I cried out a little louder than before. Shit. They didn't look pleased.

"I don't want us getting in trouble, you bite your fucking tongue if you can't control yourself." a voice snarled, and the brief pause of shock was over.

"Mhh..." I groaned pathetically, the boy that captured my sight slowly bluring at the edges. Was it wrong that I wished he would hit me himself? Why would he never hurt me anymore? Was it not fun because I didn't cry as loudly? All he ever did was stand from the side and smirk slightly...but his punches did hurt the most.

"Gakushuu..!"

"What was that Shiota?! He isn't the one doing this to you so you look at me, got it?" Rough hands yanked me to face the brute before me.

It wasn't the pain I hated, it was the weakness; the humiliation.

"You're sorry aren't you?" Another equally dry hand slapped against my face, someone still ramming their fist into me, my sore wrists from a long day of sport slamming into the hard friction of the tree behind me. My knees were slowly losing their strength, I knew that at any moment now I would fall and when I did, the kicks would start. The dirt would greet my face.

I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but at that moment strawberry blonde seemed to darken into vivid red. Too fast for my blurry eyes to see, but certainly detectable to my ears, four sharp, blunt connections could be heard.

The restrainers around me either collapsed or jumped back away from me. Finally able to look from the fifth boy spectating, I looked down to see the brutality of Karma with his fists against the four in a one sided battle. This was the side of him I remembered, the side that made me want to stay away from him, that made me fear him over so slightly. The reason someone so intelligent would ever end up in out failure class was made instantly clear before my eyes.

I watched as his bared fists slammed down into the cheek of another, not caring to leave bruises in the open like he had with me, not caring if he accidentally took out their teeth or knocked them out. I watched in a perturbed silence, breath trapped in my chest unable to be released as the offenders either collapsed or fainted completely.  
And then the fifth attacker stepped forward. I had nearly forgotten about him, but when he put his hand on Karma's shoulder, and the boy turned back to face him, I saw the bloodlust we had been taught to have in his eyes when he met Gakushuu's gaze, and the wave of their hatred for each other was so strong I nearly stumbled.

"K-Karma! Stop!" I cried out, jumping in front of him a second after his swing, feeling his hit crush against my ribs like a stack of brick.

The air escaped me and I lost my grip on the ground, slipping on the mud and being yanked into the ground by gravity.

"Nagisa!" He gasped, hands draping around mine.

I could only look up at the spinning world, seeing purple eyes looking ahead smugly, though not at me. Not even thankful.

The stawberry blonde turned to leave, but before he could, Karma suddenly stood up. He took a step forward and had his fist up again.

His name left mine without me realising. I pounced up onto my knees without realising, holding onto him tightly, gripping his torso so hard it probably hurt.

"Don't hurt him!"

"Nagisa..!" He seemed taken aback, looking at him then me as if unsure, face morphing into a frown before settling on that face that I knew looked at the other arrogantly. _"I've finally gotten the excuse to make this bastard fucking die for hurting you."_

I'll admit, my grip loosened just a bit. My stomach trembled and I felt an actual fear of Karma for the first time in my life.

"N-No... you lay a finger on him and it's over. You won't just be expelled you'll be sent to a juvenile detention centre. You can't!"

He suddenly went still. I heard Gakushuu's footsteps as he turned and walked away, my grip clinging with a burst of strength when I literally heard the teeth that gritt so hard.

"Karma, please, it's not worth it."

His tensed body calmed. Slowly, he sighed and breathed out, all of that frustration and bloodlust diminishing as his hand pressed gently into my hair. It was just us out here now, just us alone in the night's quiet.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I finally pulled away from his stomach, looking up at him in the darkness. Only now did I realise what had just happened. Karma knew I had been lying now. He knew everything but he didn't understand.

The last of the five had slipped away, leaving just us there with me half standing. His hand found mine, pulling me up as I cleared my throat in embarrassment, my hair hiding my face easily in this lack of light.

"Nagisa?" He repeated.

"I-It's fine... thank you but you shouldn't do that again."

As soon as I was stable enough, I turned to leave, but the redhead quickly caught up.  
"Nagisa you don't think they'd dare to do that again do you? Don't tell me there are others who are hurting you like that?!" He demanded, more fear and concern in his voice than anything else.

I forced myself silent. Nearly biting my lip, but remembering quickly that it had been bitten enough.

"I guess I'll just have to follow you everywhere then. I guess I'll just have to fucking destroy anyone that touches you from now on."

"Karma just stop!" My weak voice exclaimed, unable to continue with this, but unable to turn to face him either. "No one else was doing it. It was just them, but if Gakushuu wants to do that there's no stopping hi-"

 _"Don't say that motherfucker's name."_

My eyes met his in shock. "Y-You r-really want to kill him?"

"A guy like that deserves it."

How could he say that? I was right, he really didn't understand the situation, this was why I was trying so hard to keep it from him in the first place. What did he know about him?

Nothing. Karma didn't understand Gakushuu at all and that's why he thought so lowly of him when he was really someone who deserved great respect.

"You don't know that."

"Seriously? He's the reason you're covered in bruises and suffering in silence."

"He didn't do it though, you didn't see him, did you?" I challenged.

"I didn't have to. You really think those pompous A class bastards would dare do something like that if they didn't have _the son of the chairman_ with them? Not to mention the fact that he watched it all without lifting a finger to help."

"That's exactly what you don't understand. Everyone sees him as just the perfect son of the chairman but he's far more than that..."

My voice trailed off, realising I had maybe revealed too much. This was certified when he went silent for several minutes.

"You can say that all you like, but in the end it was him who decided to take those actions, not his father."

I sighed in defeat, regretting it when my limbs stung.

We were still walking slowly thanks to my fragility, and it was getting darker and colder by the second.  
"You should go ahead Karma, I'll probably be walking for a while."

He turned and looked at me with soft, golden eyes. "Oh Nagisa~ You're really mistaken if you think I'm making you walk home alone after seeing something like that."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

KARMAS POV

* * *

I guess a few good things did come from what had happened that night. I now knew why Nagisa was covered in bruises and could now make it stop, even if it would be constantly irking me that one of those responsible would go unpunished. As well as that, I also had the memory I couldn't escape of the sensation of Nagisa clutching onto my waist so tightly like that, looking up at me on his knees with his wide blue diamond eyes gleaming up at me. The feel of his quiet breathing against my stomach through my uniform and his soft to the touch hair as I patted his head didn't even escape my dreams that night.

Finally, after heading home with Nagisa in the dark, I was greeted by the sight of an angered mother wondering why her son limped home at seven-thirty in the evening when the tournament should have finished at five.

Nagisa was surprisingly quiet, but I watched with careful eyes and determined that she wasn't one of those who were hurting him. (It was a good thing that was the case otherwise things would have taken a far different turn.)

Without even touching Nagisa I felt him tense, but I explained everything of course about how Nagisa had been injured in the tournament and after going to the school infirmary, we ended up staying behind quite late and limping back, though we did win - which wasn't that bad a lie.

The woman was skeptical at first, asking for clarification that I hadn't whisked her son off to some after school celebratory part, which I explained by reminding her that there was no way we as the E class would be permitted to do something like that.

I learnt her name was Hiromi, and she even invited me in while she called my parents to collect me since it was so cold and I had taken Nagisa to his home all the way on the opposite side of town.

During that time, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with the blunette angel, but that clearly wasn't happening when she sat me down at the table with a mug of hot chocolate opposite her.

Despite these comforts, she practically interrogated me on my grades and where I lived and what jobs my parents had...

Finally, she smiled and me and looked down at Nagisa who was sitting down quietly - one thing that had alarmed me earlier was the way she reached over and yanked his hair down from its up style distastefully - but that was looked over when he just shrugged casually.

"You seem like a very clever boy Karma, I wonder if you can take up a job that's recently become available."

The way she looked over her shoulder at Nagisa told me she was asking for his approval, I squinted suspiciously, but nodded and heard her out.

"I have high hopes for _my_ Nagisa," Anyone else saying that like that would have ended up with their shattered teeth in their throat, but for her I guess she was telling the truth, so she got away with me just being annoyed, "But well... unfortunately he's just not all that smart." She laughed lightly, her hand rubbing over his shoulder lightly, though I knew there was a bruise beneath her touch. Why couldn't she be more aware of her child shrinking back so obviously? My eyes flickered to his, asking if he was alright, he just nodded behind a calm facade.

"Gakushuu - I'm sure you know him - used to do it, but that kid's already got too much on his hands as it is, so I let him off the job,"

Yet again, she had unconsciously pissed me off immensely multiple times in the last thirty seconds alone, and I had no choice but to sit down and quietly take it like a good little boy so she wouldn't want be miles away from her son.

The idea of that bastard being alone with Nagisa while I was oblivious to it all made my fists clench under the table.

"So, I was wondering if you would be able to spend some hours after school tutoring him, with benefits of course."  
She flashed a honest smile, reminding me that he offensive words weren't intentional. I was the idiot that took the word 'benefits' a little too far in my imagination consequently getting myself agitated at the idea of her saying these words to Gakushuu and having these thoughts run through his mind an unspoken amount of time ago.

There was no way I wouldn't accept something like that, not with the threat of Asano willingly returning to the that place and doing all sorts of things to him behind closed doors. So when my parents eventually came, while Hiromi told them the news, I happily obliged to follow Nagisa around a tour of his small flat where I would be dropping by frequently in the future.

* * *

From then on, I begun oh so smugly walking by Kayano at the end of the day and taking Nagisa away from her to get on the train home together.

I could feel her glare on the back of my head, but when she eventually lost the image of me in her eyes as a threat to him, the green haired girl went back to acting sweetly as if nothing had happened in the first place.

In all honesty, Nagisa was a slow learner, but slow learner for me meant more of an excuse to spend time with him so he was perfect! His slow progress with each session of mine made me want to absolutely smother him and although it was easy for me to be distracted by his cuteness, I forced myself to stay uncharacteristically humble as his teacher.

I could control those feelings. Anger was something else. I noticed he was always reluctant when I was checking over his work, I only realised why the first time he got a question wrong.  
The smaller boy seemed to freeze, looking up at me apologetically as if he had done something wrong. When I reached over to correct his mistake, he flinched so badly his arm knocked over his pencil pot and sent them all over the floor. He immediately gasped that he was sorry and tried to turn away to pick them up.

I told him to relax, and that there no need to be so scared after _any_ mistake, no matter how bad it was.

He only cringed back, nervously fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt, stuttering a sorry and a forced little smile.

Eventually, even after he stopped being so afraid, I had to ask. I wouldn't let him know how truly disturbed that small slip in his actions had made me because I didn't want to worry him, but after about two weeks I asked him about Asano.

"Oh..." He brushed some hair from his eyes and fiddled with the pencil in his lap,"my mother and the chairman have actually been friends for a while, but I only found out when we were about nine. When we started middle school, I was in the same year as him so it was only natural that we became friends,"

 _How could he call that a friendship?_

"But he was always so far ahead of me in... everything. I was a bit ashamed to be around him at school. He was even worse. The only time he would speak to me was when we were alone, so I... I asked him to become my tutor."

He looked down ashamed like he had just confessed some dark secret. The way his eyes looked down and he had a light pink blush made me feel sick. _Jealous._

"Did he hurt you?"

The blunette laughed so earnestly you would have thought I had asked something obvious. "You're so serious.." He smiled at me prettily, "He was a strict teacher, and I was easily distracted so he did-"

"Nagisa that's not righ-"

"No! No! Not like that! He never hurt me the way the bullies at school do, he would only slap me and pinch me or flick me occasionally."

The image of him slapping him, pinching him and flicking him made my head turn to the side as if I had been slapped myself. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to see the growing intent to kill fogging over my eyes.

Sadly enough, although I had never slapped or pinched him, I could recall a few times where I had flicked his cheeks or his twin-tails playfully, I just hope he had taken it that way himself.

"Why are you always so quick to defend him? Nagisa, do you like him - I mean in a way that's more than just friendly?"

When my gaze returned to him after several moments of silence, I realised I didn't need an answer. All this time I had convinced myself that me being so envious of Gakushuu was just paranoia; that the feelings I had seen Nagisa having for him were conceived by my own imagination.

Now, seeing the way his eyes looked down as if recalling a memory, slightly to the side away from me with sadness and admiration and so much emotion they practically shone a brighter shade of blue despite the rest of his stoic expression, I knew that everything I had seen hadn't been a lie; Nagisa turning pink when he was brought up, Nagisa defending him, Nagisa's detailed drawing of him in his sketchbook and Nagisa's blazing eyes looking into his in more than just desperation as he was pinned to a tree and beaten.

The boy I was in love with was in love with the boy I hated.

"Listen Nagisa, I know this is a tad hypocritical coming from me, but you shouldn't chase around an evil bastard like that who doesn't give a damn about anyone but his own image and success."

I would have continued, having more than enough words and arguments to convince him that Asano was no good, that was if I wasn't so devastated by the news myself.

With a single glance at the mist-blue eyes averting mine, I knew that I wasn't the only one who was upset. If someone had told me Nagisa only cared about himself, I'd be angry and upset as well.

Continuing to speak about this wasn't doing any of us any good.

"Besides, you're not the only one in the world to have a wild crush," I smiled at him, letting my hand creep up the back of his neck until it was buried in his hair playfully, he yelped looking up at me as I pulled the ties from his hair, bringing dazzling blue over his small shoulders. I felt my eyes soften at the sight of him. It was easy to be taken aback.

"That's the Nagisa I first met, the one who I thought was a girl and I'll admit I had spent a bit of time daydreaming over."

He looked at me incredulously, raising his eyebrows and giggling in a somewhat restrained way,"Wait, what?"

"That's right Nagisa." I winked at him, leaning back with my arms behind me,"When I first met you I had a _massive_ , I mean _massive_ crush on you."

He couldn't help erupting into laughter at that, his face turning red with embarrassment, infectiously spreading to make me smile as well.

"I thought you were easily the most beautiful girl in our class, why do you think I'm always making excuses to dress you up like that?"

I laughed only to realise that Nagisa's laughter had been cut. He wore a wry smile, but his eyes were bitter. Then suddenly, his lip trembled and his hair came down on his eyes in a dark curtain.

The atmosphere changed so quickly my throat went dry.

"Nagisa, what's wrong?"

I knew it. I had said something wrong hadn't I? Had I reminded him of me forcing him to change the other day? Is that why he was so upset?

The blunette licked his lip and sunk his shoulders,"It's nothing.."

"It's not. Tell me, please."

"S-Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if I was born the way others wanted me to be. My mother wouldn't have to be ashamed when she really wanted a girl, the others in class wouldn't see me as weak and weird enough to pick on... and maybe Gakushuu wouldn't be so averse to me. D-Do you think he's disgusted by me because I am a boy? Is that what it is?"

"Stop talking like that."

He looked up at me in shock, and I was surprised at the aggression I had put into my own words.

"It makes me sick to hear you say that. I don't care what Asano thinks because if he doesn't think you're perfect then he's the one that's losing out. You're fine the way you are Nagisa, to someone like me you're flawless. It doesn't matter what other people want from you so long as you do what you want."

The times to kiss him had been convenient before. Now was one of those times. As if to prove a point, I would lean down and show him how perfect he was by putting my lips to his and appreciating him.

I could practically feel the way both of our hearts would take a synchronised leap, and the way his breath would hitch and a gasp of surprise would escape, I could practically taste his sweet lips and feel his warmth on mine.

I should have kissed him. But when his eyes looked up like shooting stars and his hair fell over his shoulders and smooth, touchable skin, I was reminded again that Nagisa had been damaged, and to be the one to fix him, I couldn't take advantage of his sadness.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: this chapter contains violence and triggering scenes!**

* * *

Chapter Seven

* * *

KARMA'S POV

* * *

When exam season came around, I had new motivation to work harder, wanting to be able to tell Nagisa's mother that his tutor could be trusted with the highest grades in the year group. That and wanting to crush the chairman and his son.

So after the exams were over, when we sat in our class waiting in anticipation for our overly enthused octopus of a teacher to reveal all our results, I wasn't surprised at all when the ranking was read with my name at the very top of the year. That didn't make me any less overjoyed, though not nearly as overzealous as the rest of the E class seemed to be.

I was more focused on the fact that Nagisa had ranked up since the last test as well. I'd thought the best thing about coming first would be destroying Asano - but I was wrong. The best thing about it was without a doubt the way my favourite light-blue haired boy had all his attention on cheering for me proudly with that cute grin that lit up his face.

We agreed that we should celebrate, just Nagisa and me, though the class had their own little 'party' at school that day.

When the time came around, I realised that this situation was just like a date. We parted at the train station to head home and change, then met up later. Nagisa greeted me in dark jeans, a gradient T-shirt the colour of his eyes and a zipped open grey, sleeveless hoodie.

He insisted on buying me a treat of some kind even though I was the one who was the tutor. Our argue came to a compromise when we decided to surprise each other by buying each other a cake-shop gift each.

I brought Nagisa a little cookie with the letter N written on it in icing, and I delighted in the adorable gift that seemed to present him so well. When I opened up the decorative palm-sized box, I saw a little red-velvet cake with a single strawberry sitting on the icing and couldn't help smiling at him and pulling him into an awkward side hug, forcing myself to repress other urges.

After we walked around the park and ate, we had to go home. But then it seemed our day turned to shit when some high school boys decided they had taken an interest in Nagisa. I saw how scared he was, and was just going to lead him out of there to our train, but one of the idiots dared to open his mouth and make a comment something along the lines of, _"It's your own fault if you get raped on the streets for making yourself look like a bitch."_

Before Nagisa, one of the older's friends, or even myself could stop it, my fist had landed against his jaw, smashing against his snarled teeth with such violent, brutal aimless force I ended up hearing my own knuckle click as well as his face.

"Fuck!" I groaned, clutching my hand to my stomach as Nagisa called my name in shock, running to my side and asking if I was okay. The others looked at the blood raining mouth of their friend and lunged at the same time, with no choice but to take the blow myself until I had the time to position myself to kick, I jumped in front of Nagisa, prepared to be struck down when I heard the sounds of grunting and banging.

No longer in front of me, Nagisa had slipped back unnoticed and I watched as he took one teenager by the arm and yanked him into the back of another, kicking that second person in the face so his head slammed back into the boy behind him, sending them both to the floor with nose bleeds, he looked back just in time for the other to come charging at him with a pocket knife, but by then I'd had enough time to have gotten behind him and yanked his head back by the hair so hard he bit his tongue and dropped his knife to the floor.

We bolted off before someone else could notice, stopping in the dark, nearly empty train alley.

Nagisa looked up at me with two wide, concerned eyes wondering if we would get into trouble, but I just let myself fold over and meltdown into insane laughter.

I'll admit it was fun; especially fun to see the usually highly guarded skills of the gifted assassin student before me. But by the time I got him home safely, he made me promise that the next day I would go to the hospital and get my still stinging hand checked out.

We arrived at his house far sooner than I would have liked. The pressure on me to take advantage of his sympathy over my injured self was unreal, only suppressed by that innocent smile that could be lead easily astray that I couldn't bring myself to abuse like that.

Besides, his mother would probably have half a heart attack when she saw the red haired star student boy she believed was so well behaved in an after-fight state like this.

* * *

The hospital was the same as ever the next day. It was a weekend, and I didn't want to go at all, but Nagisa persistently brought himself along with me to make sure I kept my word, so the situation wasn't so bad having him with me.

"I think I've broken my knuckle." I explained to the doctor who saw me, a paediatrician who was likely in her mid thirties, looking at me the same way she would look at a five year old girl who'd grazed her knee.

"Hmm, I'd say fractured. That's quite an injury, how exactly did this happen?" She looked up in displayed concern. I leaned back in a relaxed way.

"I punched some teenager that was harassing my friend, don't worry about me though, you should have seen what he looked like with a chip in his tooth!" I grinned, watching as mock concern turned into actual disturbance. I couldn't help myself, her voice was just too irritably soothing.

"N-Now Mr Akabane violence isn't the answer..." She went on as adults usually did, irritating me when she begun rambling about there being some link between my name being Karma and my injury being a punishment for hurting others.

* * *

A while later, I was taken out to the X-ray room, stopping when I saw Nagisa waiting outside for me. I told him he'd be better off staying back at the waiting room or even heading home if he wanted as we'd probably end up moving about a few times, Nagisa protested, but it died down the nurse escort agreed.

"See Nagisa, I told you we should have just stuck a bandage on it and left it. Now look at the long process you've gotten me in for." I teased as I was whisked away.

I wished I hadn't annoyed Nagisa, because it was a matter of minutes later when I was put into a room with a nurse waiting on the doctor that boredom begun crushing me. Making an excuse to leave the room, I slipped out with every intention of going to find my blue haired companion, when the door to a room in front of me opened, revealing a leaving nurse and a familiar, bitterly resented face sitting across from it.

A sly smirked covered my own as I looked over both of my shoulders, slipping into the room with the name tag _"GAKUSHUU ASANO"_ written on it. I might as well have some fun while I was waiting.

"Well well, look who we have here.."

"Tch! Get out of my sight E class." The strawberry blonde sneered as expected, glaring up at me with strong hatred in his purple eyes.

"Is that anyway to treat the boy graded first in the year? Tell me Asano, how does it feel to not be the biggest one in the room for once?"

I saw the crushing shame in his eyes, he dug his fingers into the side of his bed, eyes looking over my shoulder at the closed door, clearly wishing for his nurse to come back and send me away.

"I'd much rather be the only one in the room... get out now. I don't want you here. What are you even doing here anyway?"

"I damaged a couple of bones in a fist fight, you're not looking the best either. In fact, you look like utter shit!" I laughed, resting on the medicine cupboard behind me. I was telling the truth; Gakushu had bandaged pretty much every where he could have them, his head, his hands, even right up to his neck. All I could really see of him was his face, ears and a few locks of light hair. What had he done, fallen in a sport and landed on his _everything?_

He glared away evasively, turning back to me with the determination in his eyes I was used to seeing. "Lower your grade."

"Not happening."

The boy grit his teeth, continuing to ignore me,"Lower your grade by confessing to have cheated or telling them some lie or I swear there will be consequences..!"

If he hadn't been already been so blatantly well beaten up, I would have added to his injuries by many. But hitting a bandaged boy in a hospital was in poor tastes even for me.

At that moment, all I could do was laugh at him, "Please, you're hardly looking threatening the way you are right now."

My eyes coldly glanced him up and down in dissatisfaction, turning to leave just before a nurse walked in. I was summoned back to be bandage up not a minute later.

* * *

GAKUSHUU'S POV

* * *

Being in a hospital was degrading, but not as degrading as having my rival seeing me in this state and looking down at me in such a crushing way. Weakness was all that could be brought by losing.

"Who was that, your brother?" The nurse asked politely.

"No. Classmate." Was all I could say, body too broken from _'getting into a fight with bullies and being pushed down the stairs before my great, heroic father who also happens to be the Chairman could deal with them'._

If only he knew what I knew. Akabane wouldn't look down on me like that if he had been through what I had. He didn't know the dread of being raised to be perfect and putting your whole life into it to please someone unpleasable. He didn't know it could be so devastating to study so hard for something it became your only hobby, only to feel the volcano of dread finally erupt, breaking my skin out in sweat and turning my stomach into a churning pit of bottomless fear.

Last night, I walked through the door to the Chairman's office after school in a horribly tense atmosphere, both of us knowing the news, and both of us feeling the anticipation of what we both _knew_ would happen later than night. I couldn't meet his gaze, because I knew that I had become what was truly disgusting in his eyes; a failure, a weakling. Pathetic.

The Chairman didn't speak of it. He himself didn't look me in the eyes. He had me sit down, sit still in the corner not even deserving of a chair, not even deserving to walk myself home as I sat in complete silence like an obedient dog at the fear of hearing their master blow that whistle.

When he was finally finished with his work, I felt for sure that the punishment would come now. It didn't. He acted as if nothing had happened and lead my to the car. I walked behind him as usual.

We sat closely in silence, his eyes out the window, mine half ahead, half watching him. Half waiting for him to reach out and grab me, forcing me to swallow my scream in silence so our driver wouldn't notice. Have waiting for him to stop the car on some high way where he would abandon me. Half waiting for him to flip that switch in his mind and hurt me.

That didn't happen either.

The journey came to an end and our driver was dismissed until the next morning. Mother was still away. It was just us for the night. He turned away and I rushed to prepare dinner. I looked over my shoulder about a thousand times, anxiously expecting to see him there behind me with a shotgun, expecting him to slam my hand onto the counter and hold it there until my skin scorched as he had once done before.

The pain of that was still etched into my memory, I had learnt that lesson long ago, that I should never spill a word of this to our relatives. I was going crazy with paranoia and I knew it.

The food was done but my voice was too dry to call him. I laid everything down on the table, and bit my lip, trembling for several seconds on the brink of stepping forward and moving back, until I found myself at the door to his study, knocking nervously, letting him see my face wordlessly.

We went down to the kitchen. I was in front of him. I should never be in front of him, not just because he out ranked me, but because the feel of his gaze on my back would make me stumble and fall.

Today I thought for sure I would shatter, but when I looked back, his eyes weren't on me at all. It was like I wasn't even in the room. Dinner was the same. Not a single glance. I was nothing. I wasn't slave, I wasn't dirt on his shoes, I was nothing.

I couldn't take this anymore; the silence was starting to strangle me and starve me of my sanity. My lips opened, and a word slipped. One word, one wrong mistake of a word was all it took. He wasn't my father - he wasn't a father at all. He was only the head of my school and the head of the house I lived in, so why when I opened my mouth did that word carve in my feeble, wavering voice?

The plate had smashed over my head before I could blink. The table's corner into my side and jabbing me as I was slammed up against the solid surface with fingers closing around my throat. A quivering gasp for air cried out, and just like that, the verbal onslaught of his begun. The words were like knives, stinging into me nearly as painfully as his eyes glared at me, as his hands closed around me, as his demeanour crushed mine, reminding me that I was a powerless embarrassment that he wished was never born. That he wished wouldn't curse him with wasted efforts that proved in vane.

I wasn't his son. I was nothing to him.

Was this pain really better than the blunt anxiety leading up to it? He was never plain enough to punch me, he was always more creative then that and I hated every bit of it. He slapped my face, turning the skin bright red but never enough to leave more than a day's mark. He brushed the hair from my face and left me vulnerably exposed to him as he spat truthful words, fingers closing around my face so tightly my teeth tug into the inside of my cheeks and cutting them as I looked up helplessly.

Soon I was yanked down by the ankle into the floor as he lost interest. This was followed by a dreading calm and gaze on me as I was forced to clean up the glass and the mess, limping as I felt blood draining from my side. I thought it was over then.

Soon after, there was more. I had been dragged up by the ear into his study where I was thrown into a bookshelf and avalanched with heavy, raining objects. After that, there was another moment of silence, with tension so thick it really could suffocate, and eyes on me as I trembled and limped, hanging head in shame, weak fingers struggling to lift and organise things so light I knew he really was telling the truth when he told me I was weak.

Bored of this, we were on to the next punishment, his fingers closed around my throat, and his voice penetrated my ears. I forget what room we were in, but I remember the events and the pain that followed it.

Somewhere along the line, my clothes had been torn, leaving me in only a vest and underwear. Too weak to hold myself up, he let me remain there on the ground, looking up at him like I should. I tasted dirt, and tasted the rubber of the boots that had kicked me all over. He asked what lessons I had learned, and made sure I knew that I was the very definition of weakness, my voice so tiny and croaky I could barely hear it.

I kept telling myself that I couldn't cry.

I kept telling myself that I would be rushed to hospital the second his anger cooled and that I would be fine.

I kept telling myself not to prove my inferiority.

I kept telling myself not to make the monster above me angrier, but what use would it do?

By the end of it, I was dressed back up prettily in my uniform and carried of to the car in warm arms that could be so cold it stabbed. I remember sobbing from searing hot pain in the car as the engine hummed on, and before I knew it, I had woken up here in this hospital.

I wouldn't cry. Gakushuu Asano had a perfect life with a perfect, supporting family. He was charismatic, strong and successful, and he certainly didn't cry over something as petty as _middle school bullies..._

If I cried, everyone would know my lie. They would know that something had to be seriously wrong.

* * *

KARMA'S POV

* * *

"I uh.. ran into Asano at the hospital yesterday."

Worry was on Nagisa's face like a switch had been turned, forgetting all about our conversation before and everything else in the world, like nothing else mattered. This was why I was hesitant to bring it up in the first place.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? What kind of state was he in?! I-I should've known this would happen-"

He was up on his feet, but I wasn't having that. My fingers closed around his wrist, pulling him down and rotating him effortlessly so he landed in the chair without so much as a blink. His wide eyes looked at me and I couldn't help but being lit aflame with jealousy.

"He looked fine. Covered in bandages but arrogant as ever, even enough to dare to threaten me and try to make me lie about cheating to get my scores lowered."

Nagisa bit his lip, "I wonder why he would do something like that?" The thought in his voice told me he didn't expect an answer.

I clicked my tongue loudly as he remained quiet,"Honestly Nagisa, how much time do you spend wasting your thoughts on this guy? You really make me jealous you know."

I muttered the last part, only intending it to be for my ears. Imagine my shock when his head tilts towards me curiously, and eyes as bright and innoccent as ever, "I didn't really hear that last part?"

To stop my face going red without a good reason, I bit down on my lip and sputtered out the first thing that came to my head,"I-I said you're too nice Nagisa, Koro-Sensei would be proud as the teacher of you as a person, but ashamed as the teacher of you as an assassin."

"But we aren't trying to assassinated Gakushuu, well... I'm not anyway." The boy gave me a suspicious look, but my mind had already deviated from the moment he said that name.

"Enough already. I love that you can be so sweet Nagisa, but when you speak about _Asano_ so passionately it makes me _envy_ him so badly."

At this point there was no going back. Nagisa turned to me in surprise, and with one look at my face, being so capable of reading others, he knew it all.

Would he smile..? Would he laugh? Would he be disgusted? Scared? Upset?!

I couldn't let his mind make any decisions without my input.

"I guess It's finally time to confess, I never lost that crush I had on you Nagisa, if anything it went from massive to Brobdingnagian-" He looked at me puzzled as if I had just spat gibberish, which was my intention as it stopped his thoughts coming to any unpleasant conclusions for just long enough for me to explain, "Even when I found out you were a boy, even when we moved classes, even when we didn't see each other for such a long time and even when I found out you liked someone else. All of these times I would try to live on independently and not become obsessed, but every reason not to be with you made me want to fight for you even more. You don't know how excited I was when I saw you in the E class Nagisa, suddenly I didn't care that I had moved to the bottom of the school or that I had this unrealistic task, suddenly I knew that there was no escaping the feelings I have for you, Nagisa."

The boy's face was perfectly still, startled with eyes wide and guarded so they were unreadable. " And I don't want to escape them."

Then, I had a burst of courage that I had been chasing for months. My finger slipped lightly around his chin, my heart pounding as I felt his soft, warm skin in my grasp, before I tilted his face up, not to mine, but to the side, pressing my lips against his cheek in an extended peck that I wished could last forever.

It was only one touch. It may have made me yearn for more, but even still I felt something in side me leaping around.

When I pulled away, I saw the fogginess in his diamond blue orbs, making me smile a small smile before I turned away, saying goodbye to him for the day and telling him to make sure he finishes all his work.

Unsure of what else to do, but glad I had done it late so I had an excuse to run out as fast as I could with crimson burning right up to ears, I headed home where I sank down against my bed, eyes shut, and lips trembling and tickling from the warmth of his skin.

* * *

 **Yes! A darker chapter! The rating has officially changed back to M and we have gotten into Gakushuu's mind.**

 **How will this affect his character? What does this mean for his involvement in the story? How will this relate to Nagisa?**

 **Please continue to support and look out for the next chapter. *-***


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

* * *

KARMA'S POV

* * *

The next day was the dreaded assembly where the E class had the misfortune of having to join with the other brutes of the school. Though ironically, most of the school would consider those roles reversed.

Depsite what drama had occurred yesterday, one thing was for sure - I was not letting Nagisa walk to school on his own today. I knew he could look after himself if he wanted to. But simply put, with some bullies, Nagisa didn't want to.

He looked up in surprise when he saw me waiting outside his house leaning on the wall in the early hours of the morning, but he didn't look upset either.

Our conversation had a surprisingly tranquil flow to it - I thought for sure he would bring up yesterday and throw some form of tantrum. Instead. he ended up being the peaceful one, and I ended up being the protester.

"So you're still going to chase after Asano?"

I felt him tense from here, his hand slipping down to the bag at his side and playing with the strap.

"I'm doing this for his own benefit as well as mine."

"What do you mean by that? You think letting him vent his anger on you is healthy? It won't make him like you any better and even if it somehow does, being a punch bag at the start can only lead down the path to a terrible relationship."

He stuck his tongue out rather childishly, dismissively as though this situation wasn't serious at all. "I know that of course."

I waited for him to expand patiently, wondering why on earth he was still letting this go on? Was he really that damaged? Was he really that... _in love?_ My gaze darkened, knowing fully well that if Nagisa wanted to punch me bloody I would gladly wear his bruises.

He said nothing else. Didn't add on, didn't change the subject, his eyes were averted so he wasn't waiting for my response - I could tell his was lost in thoughts that I probably wouldn't like.

"If you won't stop it yourself, I will. Anything Asano does to you I'll do to him."

He looked at me like I had just cursed in a shrine,"N-No! You hitting him won't come to any good at all! I know you're trying to be helpful, but...well you'd understand if you knew.."

"Then let me know."

Nagisa stared at me in a concerned way so intently I became concerned he wasn't looking where he was going. Finally, his firmed eyebrows relaxed and he breathed a sigh.

"Gaku-! A-Asano's father... abuses him. I've known this for a while now, and unfortunately not because he trusted me enough to tell me, but because I accidentally saw it. What he does to him... it isn't like what he does to the other students, at first that was all it was, verbal, and emotional abuse, but over the years it became more than that, and it's affected Asano's mind in a terrible way. He's only so afraid of being weak, losing and every other insecurity he has because of his father, and eventually he got violent. I-I was stupid and crazy when I did this, but I thought if I let myself be hurt by A-Asano, that not only would he understand his father and lose some his stress, I thought maybe he'd feel guilty about what he'd done and realise that this is wrong enough for him to get some help."

Suddenly, the inferiority in Asano's eyes flashed in my mind, the modesty he'd always had in his clothing, and the almost _fear_ he had for coming second. I remembered now that he used to not be so terrible many, many years ago when he was just a blurry face in a class who I couldn't have cared less about. So many things clicked in my mind, that I realised couldn't be a coincidence. Nagisa was telling the truth.

At that moment, I had never wanted to hug Nagisa more, but not wanting to alarm him after last night, I simply reached my hand around his arm and brushed my fingers against his irresistibly smooth skin comfortingly, letting the warmth from out bodies shamelessly intertwine at this point of connection.

"You really are something of an angel, Nagisa. He's lucky to have yo-"

"Eugh! That's disgusting!" A shrill voice interrupted my thoughts. Both of our heads turned sharply to see several students in the crowd we had walked into leering at us, snickering judgmentally.

My eyes narrowed. _"I'm sorry, would whoever said that kindly step up to my face so I can **break** theirs?"_

There was some movement before a girl in a younger year went running backwards in shame. This was exactly why I didn't want Nagisa here. The A, B, C and D class all thought they were so superior they would literally find anything they could to mock the E class.

The A class generally mocked intelligence, the B class would often look for any creative reason they could, the C class generally followed the other trends mindlessly as for the D class students, who weren't much better, they looked for any reason at all to despise us.

All this negative energy made me wish I could trap Nagisa in a bubble so he couldn't hear them, but while the nearest option to that would be beating them all silent, I knew that would only upset him more. I tried to get us both into the building quickly, but it seemed the teasing today was relentless.

In fact, it was extraordinarily harsh. Could it be the hatred towards our success this year? In the background and saw who I recognised as Hara walking by completely undisturbed in contrast to us. At this point I didn't doubt that the attention was on me or Nagisa specifically.

"Move yourself E class faggot!" A boy nudged into Nagisa's shoulder, coincidentally the one with the slowly healing bruise, and when his arm slipped from mine, and his body shuddered, I'd had enough. My slowly slipping self control was lost.

His friends around him were laughing until my foot swiped their knees, my hand reaching for the offenders throat and pinching it in my grasp, slamming him into the concrete floor, holding him by the arms and replacing my hand with my foot, ready to press down and crush him.

 _"Karma!"_ Nagisa exclaimed from behind my ears, in a tone that told me he had seen this coming.

"I have to teach this piece of shit a lesson on respect, Nagisa~" My voice turned cold, eyes glaring into his as his friends stumbled in panic,"I don't know what bullshit you're spitting or why you think you have the right to judge, but you need reminding of your place."

He laughed dauntingly, an unusual reaction,"Bullshit? Yeah right! You can't deny it, the pics are everywhere!"

Before he could finish, I leaned half of my weight down and cut of his speak with a choking wail, releasing him shortly after kicking him in the ribs once more.

After that, I'd like to say the teasing stopped, but in all honesty, the confidence he'd had in his words only made me feel more anxious as we made our way into the hall, less than oblivious to the glares and harsh, condescending mutterings.

"Ignore them Nagisa."

I told him, but I had just as much concern in my eyes as he did.

* * *

When Gakushuu Asano walked up onto the stage, my eyes narrowed. He was on crutches with just as many bandages as I had seen before. I saw Nagisa stiffening in front of me. I could tell he was worried. From beside me, I heard the gossip that he had been in a _sports injury_ , that he had been _attacked in the street_ but managed to take down the assailants, or even that he had saved an old lady from getting mugged. They all thought he was so great, and they all pitied him so much. If it weren't for my sense of reinvigorated self restraint - courtesy of Nagisa - I would have whispered back the truth just to see the look on their face at the news that their beloved A class student and Chairman weren't so perfect after all.

I dragged my eyes back and saw the strawberry blond looking down and speaking as charismatically and confidently as always. They were presenting some kind of survey, but whatever it was, I couldn't care less.

"...And thanks to our contributions, their rates are up by 20%." When he finished his little speech, the rest of the off the school clapped. Light purple eyes flickered down to me for the briefest second that I didn't miss, hardening as if he was so superior for being applauded up on the stage like that.

Was that what he thought this was about? Is that why he thought I tried so hard to take first place? He was an idiot if he thought this was some kind of popularity contest. Part of me wished I hadn't been locking so he could see just how little I cared. Part of me thought it was kind of sad.

Suddenly, Nagisa stumbled back. We had been standing still for so long, and I was so sidetracked I could barely react in time.

"Whoah...'you alright?" I caught his stumbling, but my sound went unheard as the school around as erupted into _"Ohs."_

Nagisa's eyes were wide, staring straight ahead as if he had just seen a ghost.

It was then that I realised the Nagisa wasn't the only one. Everyone around me had their eyes glued ahead and from far beside us, I could hear loud laughter, and when I turned my vision to others outside of the E class, all eyes that were once on the projector, were now on...me?

"Karma..." Nakumara's voice trailed off behind me, full of sympathy. Sympathy I didn't understand. What was going on?

By now, I had the courage to look back to the stage, only to see a single stuttering, confused member of the A class tapping away at his computer announcing that there had been some kind of error in their presentation.

Aside from that, the top five of the school wore nothing but triumph on the faces that had previously met the end of my fist. In the very centre of them, Gakushuu looked down at me in contempt. Whatever happened, they were behind it.

I finally looked up.

On the board, there were a series of pictures showing none other than two boys with red hair and blue hair; me and Nagisa. I had no idea when these pictures had been taken, but I knew for sure that taken out of context they didn't look good at all.

There was me playing with Nagisa's hair on the sports field, several of him leaning on me from what looked like the schools surveillance as we walked out of the dark forest together, and worst of all from just outside the showers in the empty changing room, where the angle of me leaning into him could easily look like we were kissing each other.

My breath hitched at remembering that day, knowing fully well that if I had given in to my temptations (knowing that I came damn close) and kissed Nagisa into forgetting about his bruises like I had dreamed of doing, this could have been a _lot_ worse. I just had to tell Nagisa that, there was no real problem here as they already hated us.

My gaze is snapped down when I feel Nagisa's weight disappear from me. His name left my mouth, and my eyes widened at the sight of him running. I couldn't seem to get to him fast enough. The despicable classes around us jeer loudly as the door is slammed and Bitch-Sensei left chasing him out of the room.

Everything happened so fast, the door was shut, and I was left with my ears throbbing from an intense overload of noise. As I stand there, Kayano mouths words at me that I can't hear and whispers around me to stay calm are suppressed by the growing chants of hateful words towards not just us, but the rest of the class as well. Towards Nagisa.

"Well," A microphone aided voice, easily dominated the other sounds, as all eyes turn to the stage. "For little Shiota to react that way, these photo's must be real."

Following a bitter smile, the hall is once again submerged in chaos.

* * *

NEUTRAL POV

* * *

In everyone's eyes, Karma Akabane, the boy with the reputation of bloody hands had his teeth grit, his veins popped, his nails dug into his palms in a fist and his eyes shined with bloodlust.

They know it's only a little longer until he snapped just as well as the mastermind looking down on them knew.

A broken, bandaged boy verse a brute famous for violence? Did the students care about something like a fair fight? Of course not, and those who did were silenced by the more nefarious others that overpowered them with the want to see any good fight.

Cursing chants rained down on that one boy, aggressive eyes bore into his mind, everyone challenged him, channelled fury into him. But Karma drowned out all sounds completely. To him it was all just useless noise, all words of wisdom from E class members and all threats from imposing teachers that tried to weigh him down with their pathetically unfair system went unheard. There had never been a more blatant manipulation of access to security cameras. An obvious abuse of power.

The school watched him, waiting to see the excitement of fists meeting fists of two of the strongest students in the building.

The E class watched him, waiting and wondering if an assassin in training would lose control of himself enough to end the fight easily with simple blood shed, cursing all their names and futures in that one slip up.

Gakushuu watched him, waiting for the pain he was willing to feel as sacrifice to get his competition _eliminated._ Likely locked away in some centre for juvenile criminals where he was no more than any other prisoner without rights.

As for the boy himself, he knew all of this. Karma headed up to the stage, knowing that he has it in him to say a few simple words that will simply destroy not only Asano but his father, their reputation and business as well. He would never see it coming. It really would destroy him and display him as the true victim that he hated to be, yet was.

Asano flinched when the boy stood before him. His eyes were shut, taking a step back with a squared jaw, preparing for a harsh hit on already badly bruised skin.

Instead, he felt a sharp wisp against him, a sting as the microphone was snatched off of him and put on to Karma's face.

Gakushuu's eyes widen, as if knowing that letting him speak will be the end of it all, he makes a move forward on his two injured legs, only to be paralysed by the proprietorial eyes of the Chairman across the room looking ahead at him in shame. That's the moment went Gakushuu realises the mistake he made. Unfortunately, having had no way of knowing this, Karma opened his mouth anyway.

"So you all think it's so funny that your school records two boys half naked in the changing rooms to show to assembly?!"

The laughter and mockery died down as soon he said those words, loud enough for the whole room - possibly even outside to hear.

"It's not like that! This wasn't intended - it must have been some kind of mistake!" The boy at the computer attempted, only to be silenced with a glare.  
"You might not have realised, but a slide like that doesn't just make itself. No. Someone with access to this kind of footage showed this to us intentionally." He snapped, eyes dragging over to Gakushuu so obviously, not only to the stage but to the rest of them, the whole school knowing fully well that he was the only one with the influence to do so.

"Well then you fucking scandal?! What were your intentions, to shame me?" He laughed, eyes jabbing in to him, words adding insult to injury, "To make Nagisa feel weak and cry? Or let me guess, your panties are still fucking twisted over the thought of coming second to _me_? Is that what this was, revenge? Because of course, this mentally damaged school doesn't give a shit about the equal rights of you the second you let your grades drop and give it a bad name, it's all about your name isn't it? You just can't handle losing."

The sea of students looked up in a silently, suffocating shock. "...Congratulations."

At this words, the red head turned away from the rest of the class, his eyes solely focused on widened purple orbs, "I can honestly face you all and say that I don't feel a single shred or shame for any of these photo's, in fact I'm glad the rest of a school what kind of pathetic, desperate person they really admire so much. This person taking a grudge with one boy and exposing your own friend who hid your secret on his back in silence for years - trust me, I know what secret - just because you know you've fucked him up in the head for him not to tell on you." He finished, taking off his mic and dropping it to the floor before the shocked strawberry blond. Aside from that aching sound in the speakers, the room was silent.

"I hope you're proud." The redhead muttered for only those two to hear, before he jumped off the few steps to the stage and headed out of the door which Nagisa left, allowing the universally held breath of anticipation in that hall to be released.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

NEUTRAL POV

* * *

One of the benefits of being a talented assassin, was that Nagisa knew how to hide. Very well in fact. At this moment, he was more than relieved for this, as he bolted out of the hall with embarrassment, shame, guilt and anger weighing him down with every step.

In the background, he heard the sound of his teacher calling out to him, so he averted in to the side of his old school building, where he found a stairway with a familiar opening looking perfect for hiding. By some miracle, he was still able to slip into the shadows unseen.

When Irina entered the foreign place, she paused, taking in the dark, narrow surroundings before she called out once more. There was no reply of course, but she had faith in her abilities as an assassin. The woman slipped in, passed the stairs and the door to the rest of the building that would have likely been a distraction from his real position. But she knew her student well enough to know that he would choose hiding over running and went straight to the small section below the stairs, were a few broken lockers stood hidden.

"Nagisa?" She called again, though gentler this time, certain that he would be just past here. To her dismay, when she crouched down and peered into the shadowy darkness, there was nothing. A sigh escaped her, as she turned back and headed down the path into the rest of the building. Maybe she didn't really know her student that well after all? Or maybe he knew that she knew and that's why he did the opposite? Whatever the reason was, Nagisa wasn't here.

Or so she thought. Nagisa watched her from above the stairs, peering from a loose vent that lead to an isolated store-room turned projection room where he had spent a lot of time hiding in his past years at Kunigigaoka. The blue haired boy breathed out a shaky breath of relief, turning away to sink deeply into the stack of boxes and bury his head in his knees only after he had seen her leave.

Here he was again, hiding from bullies and his own problems. Had it really been three years since this had started? No, it must have been at least four and a half by now, yet here his was with the power to make it all stop, still cowering away as pathetically lacking in confidence as he had been back then.

It wasn't long before there was a flicker of yellow, and a tentacled monster appeared before him, speaking in a concerned voice. It wasn't long after that, that a surprisingly soft embrace curled around him, and the blunette was convinced to head back up the mountain to where the rest of his class was waiting.

* * *

Nagisa hadn't seen Karma for the whole day. He had been cheered up relentlessly by the rest of his classmates, but he felt a deep pit of concern in his stomach threatening to pull him in. He had been told about what Karma had said. Sure, he was glad he hadn't picked a fight with Gakushuu, as the boy was already injured, there wouldn't have been any question at who would be put in trouble. But what now?

Would the redhead be expelled permenantly? Would Gakushuu? Was he being interrogated right now? Maybe the Chairman, being the dark genius he was would somehow find away to pin the entire blame on him? He didn't know why he was so concerned, Karma was his friend, but somehow it was as if he was the one at threat right now, because what could cause the boy to be away for an entire school day!?

"Shiota," The blunette was so shocked he nearly pulled out his assassinating blade (not that it would have done much) when a black car stopped before him. His eyes widened, before melting down in a fiery mix of emotions at the sight of Gakushuu Asano. He dared to show his face to him after today. He dared to call out to him so casually after that betrayal.

Pale blye eyes turned down in shame, unable to answer.

"The Chairman's staying back in school, I should take you home."

Nagisa couldn't turn down that offer. Really, he couldn't. He walked around and slipped into the back seat, saying a brief greeting to the driver as he kept his head down. For once, their roles were reversed, Nagisa was the one wanting to be out of there, and Gakushuu was the one looking down at him for acknowledgement.

The car started with a little hum, sending them off into their awkward, tension filled journey. About five minutes in, Nagisa's breath hitched when he heard that voice speaking to him.

" _Nagisa_...You don't hate me do you?"

The smaller looked up, hearing more weakness and vulnerability than he had ever heard in this boy's voice before. His heart raced, thinking that could be it. This could be what he had been waiting for, what years of bullying and manipulation had built up to, Gakushuu would finally come to a realisation and end it all.

"What you did was bad... but no."

Asano couldn't breathe when looking at those forgiving, caring eyes. They had so much hope for him it made him feel even more helpless. Worthless.

"Good. This is why I did it _Nagisa_ , you're such a great friend, I know I can trust you not to cause any trouble for me."

 _You mean, not to fight against you? Not to stand up for myself?_

Noticing the hesitation in the smaller's face, Asano reached out and stroked his hand down the side of Nagisa's smooth arm, starting just where he sleeve ended and trailing down to rest over his wrist. He would come back to him. He always did.

But this time, the bluntette breathed in a heavy sigh at the feeling. Not because the shivers were pleasurable. It was because he knew emotional manipulation when he saw it. He was sick of it. All this time, Gakushuu would complete this heartless actions that made Nagisa so excited, just because it would get him what he wanted.

"It was a worthy sacrifice, Karma won't risk having you exposed again."

The taller tilted his head to watch out of the window, not meeting the eyes that begged for him to look back at him. He thought that was all he had to do to win Nagisa back? He thought he was just that easy and expendable? No. Nagisa realised that he was worth more than that. Maybe Gakushuu had always somehow attracted his attention, but after so many years, it clearly wasn't returned. It was time to end it.

Gakushuu flinched at the warmth of the boys wrist suddenly being snatched out from underneath him. Confusion morphed his face into stress when the boy politely asked for the car to be stopped.

"Wait..Nagisa where are you going?"

The door had been opened, yet Nagisa refused to leave without delivering his message.

"You're wrong."

The voice spoke with a strength it had been lacking for so long, it's own user had forgotten it's sound.

He watched as the usually strong boys face flickered, letting out an accidental expressial of weakness; confusion and even desperation. Nagisa didn't let it phase him.

 _"W-What?"_

"I've had enough of being used. Of being abused. You should be to."

In a moment, that hope of understanding had left, Nagisa's name was yelled out angrily, but before he could even take a step out, the door had slammed shut in his face.

Nagisa's back was seen through blacked out windows, hoisting his bag up into his grip and leaving Gakushuu.

* * *

 _ **"It makes me fucking sick to know how much of a failure you are!"**_

Despite his hands being bound against the leg of the desk, Gakushuu still struggled. He still fought desperately against the leathery restrains and tugged hard, trying to pull away so he could run somewhere far away.

He felt broken bones being broken further, he felt internal bleeding and exerted muscles exhausted from fighting as he was beaten.

At times like this, he was glad he was facing the other way, as he was usually forced forward so his father could see him all and check for any signs of weakness or insecurity. That's because times like this were usually to teach him some kind of lesson, but no, not this time, this time his father was just truly angry with him. At times like this, he _usually_ had the power to keep back his tears.

Today, his throat hadn't been hit a single time, yet it felt as if he had been forced to swallow a brick from how many times he had cried out in agony.

 _ **"You know what would have happened today if you didn't have me? You know you would have been done. Don't you?"**_

There was no response through those gritted teeth, so he repeated his question with a harsh punch. That's right. He punched him. Maybe because he was too angry to take his time in thinking of a new method. Maybe because he really was fed up with him. Maybe because he wanted to hurt him more than usual, or maybe because he had given up caring about him.

The strawberry blonde's breath cried in a frail squeak, that told him he had damaged his lungs.  
"I-I-I'm s-so-"

 _ **"Shut it."**_ The man growled harshly into his ear, yanking him by the hair and slamming his face into the desk so hard it made the trembling boy dizzy.

"After today you could have put the whole school at risk. How childish... stealing footage like that...just because you can't succeed...makes me wish I could take my family name from you...Look at you crying like that...disgusting...pathetic..."

He had blacked out long before the man was finished.

* * *

When Gakushuu woke up, he didn't feel better at all.

He didn't smell the scent of medicine and antibacterial, he didn't feel numb inside and slightly itchy from uncomfortable hospital sheets. He's in his own bed, and in enough pain to make him cry out a muffled whimper, turning to bury his face into his cushion only to regret his decision as a pang of pain forced him back to facing upwards awkwardly.

Of course. He couldn't be sent to the hospital so soon after his last attack. That would make his father look terrible, as he had only been dispatched so early only a whim since his father had made a promise to take care of him.

 _To take care of him..._

More self-defeating thoughts weighed down on him that night. More dark, desolate, unloved memories resurfacing, bringing warm tears over his face, blurry his vision of his dark bedroom and slipping his throat into yet another invisible choking hold.

Why was this happening to him? Why did the others at school get to live their lives so much better than his? What had he done to deserve this? What would happen tomorrow? It was sure that he wouldn't be returning to school for a while, but what about at home?

The situation had never gotten this bad before. His father really, really sounded like he didn't want him anymore... Maybe he was still angry? Maybe he only stopped because it was pointless with Gakushuu asleep? Maybe he would be beaten again as soon as morning came? How badly had he messed up?

C-Children made mistakes, that's how things were, why did he have to pay so much for this? When would his mother come home and end this all, why was she always away at the worst times..?

Why was she never really there for him? Why was nobody? Why did nobody care about him, sure, he was strong, but the strong could be weak at times as well... that was right, he did have someone. He had someone that despite his low status, respected him and treated him better than anyone had, and he had messed that up too. That person was long gone. And now look at him. He was alone.

In the end, fear kept Gakushuu up until the sun rised. He kept his cries low, so the monster down the hall wouldn't be awoken. When his pale, red eyelids eventually forced themselves closed as his breath hiccuped every few seconds, what appeared in his dreams had been Nagisa Shiota. The boy who had been strong enough to turn his back on what was making him unhappy. To end the abuse. The boy who he realised he had always needed deep down.

When he woke up, it was mid afternoon the next day. As his father coldly spoon-fed him his dinner, telling him about all the lies he had been forced to tell at school because of him, one question lingered on Gakushuu's mind.

Would he be strong enough to do as Nagisa had done?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

KARMA'S POV

* * *

It had been several weeks since the incident. With no real rule saying that I deserved expulsion, I got off with a simple few detentions - which of course I sneaked out of. Since then, I made it my mission to walk to school with Nagisa every day - which meant waking up even earlier but when had that ever bothered me?

The more time with him, the better.

I had to say, my intentions weren't solely innocent, I still hoped that the more time I spent with him, the more he would come to like me. I still took every opportunity to gently tease him and play with his hair, plan assassinations with him and tutor him. At this point, Nagisa took up about 75% of my day - about 95% if thinking about him was included.

Maybe I was getting obsessed, but I would gladly let my mind be consumed by him.

Eventually, even someone as dedicated as me faltered and I begun to wonder if Nagisa was starting to get annoyed with me. If I was overwhelming him or if he just wanted a break from me. One morning when I showed up at his house, I met with his mother, only for her to tell me he had already left.

 _Sorry for the late notice Karma, but Asano came to collect me today, and I haven't seen him in a while so I couldn't say no. See you at school!_

When I read the message, my hands clenched around my phone as if it were Gakushuu's throat. We had fallen into such a habit, it didn't even cross my mind to check my phone for texts from him saying that he could possibly cancel. That was like a trigger for me. Had they been seeing each other this whole time while I thought I was getting closer to him? Had Nagisa found a mistake in telling me the truth, was that why he had been keeping this a secret?

As I made my way to school, I couldn't help but stress over the matter. Was I really being too doting over Nagisa? Was he finally sick of it? Maybe it was even worse, he had told me he had cut out Asano completely, so why the hell was he getting in a car with him to go to school? Had he been coerced into some kind of trick?

I headed up the mountain, walking into the classroom only to find my blood running cold when I saw Nagisa's seat empty. There was no way they wouldn't be here by now. Not only had they left home before me, they had been in a car. My first thought was that he was being bullied again. But there was no way...he wouldn't hold back anymore, he would use the capabilities he had and defend himself if anyone tried to hurt him - even his oh so beloved _Gakushuu._

Could there have been an car accident on the way? Maybe it wasn't accidental, maybe it was his way of punishing him?

"If you're wondering where Nagisa is he'd out the back talking to the Chairman's son." Isogai spoke from behind me, bringing an end to that train wreck of thoughts only to launch me into another one.

"Why would they be behind the class alone together?!" I seethed, jumping straight from the window, leaving the boy blinking in shock.

I walked around the messy heap of fallen tree's and various other awkwardly placed items until I finally caught sight of blue.

My eyes thinned into a glare to see Gakushuu still with one of his crutches, leaning in to Nagisa with his face against his ear, close enough to kiss him. I watched as Nagisa's mouth turned to an O as water-blue orbs widened in shock.

I didn't need to know what he was saying. I had already launched myself from the spot I was at in less than a time that would make Koro-Sensei proud, my hands around his collar and slamming him back into the building with myself as the distance between him and _my_ Nagisa. The bastard groaned out and glaring up at me, as Nagisa stuttered into some explanation about this being a misunderstanding.

"You think you can fucking manipulate his emotions again you rat?" His purple gaze hardens as he spits back, "I don't need to-"

Before he can even finish my fist has been raised and slams hard into flesh. Surprisingly smooth, soft flesh that gives in surprisingly easily. I looked back in confusion, only to look in horror and see that a certain blunette had jumped in his place yet again and took the hit.

"Nagisa!" Both of us cry out to him, but I'm the one to catch him first, despite this, I felt like my fist had been attached to my heart by a thread and that I had just consequently yanked it out.

Gakushuu is forgotten about in an instant as I look into the wide blue eyes desperately, praying that there would be no signs of pain, praying that there would be hope of forgiveness.

"Are you alright?! I'm so sorry you can do anything you want to make yourself feel better, you can stab me Nagisa!"

He looks into my eyes before laughing lightly, and holding up as hands as I set him on his feet. There's a small trace of blood from his lip smearing down the side of his mouth, but it's not nearly as bad as it could have been. Not yet anyway. I just know that my face is showing more distress than I've ever shown...my eyebrows are sore from how raised they are.

It's like the touch of an angel when Nagisa brushes his finger innocently from the side of my forehead down to my chin, his eyes showing just that - that the act was in innocence and nothing more. Yet, it's enough to calm me down and rile me up all in one. Only Nagisa could ever give me such a catastrophe of emotions so casually like that.

"I'm fine, really. What can I say, it's toughened me up to get the occasional beating."

At those words, my eyes flickered back to Gakushuu resentfully, though I know that my lack of self control here was partly to blame.

He only sighed and raised his hands while he leaned against the back of the building in surrender. "I'm not here to fight. When I told you that I don't need to, I meant I don't need to because he's forgiven me."

His purple eyes glance over briefly to Nagisa as if for confirmation, he nods his head quietly. "And when I was speaking to him earlier, I was saying...that I..." He murmured the last part, head turning down to the side in shame.

 _"You what? Whatever you can say to Nagisa you can say to me?"_ I persisted, getting the wrong impression once more.

"I need your help alright!" He snapped, eyes looking wounded.

If I could feel guilt for Gakushuu, this would have been the moment for it. Unfortunately, something seemed to be blocking my sympathy for him, I simply sighed as he continued.

"You guys both know that this wasn't a damn sporting injury as everyone's been saying, so I-I want to stop what my fa- _what the Chairman_ is doing. The last time I saw you Nagisa, you showed me what it was like to be strong, and to prioritise your own safety and stand up for yourself like that made me really admire you. Look, both of you, I'm really sorry about it all... Nagisa especially as you've been nothing but good to me when others just used me. I'm not just saying this because it was beaten into me as a lesson, but because I know what I did was wrong, and I want you to forgive me so I can make my- t-the Chairman realise as well."

He swallowed his throat and turned his head slightly to the side, the slightest bit pink in the face. I couldn't help but thinking how blushing like that terribly didn't suit his character, but those purple eyes seemed too sincere to be hated.

"Sure I can forgive you. But I won't help you."

Asano looked delightfully like he had been spat on, and Nagisa scowled in discontent, asking me why not.

"You don't need it. You're more than capable of doing this yourself, in fact I think your ego would benefit from taking down your abuser all by yourself." I said that last part mockingly as a child would boast.

I know it had been voiced rudely, but hearing the words, Nagisa had never looked at me more proudly in his life, I returned his look fondly, though I was reluctant when his eyes turned down hesitantly, before heading back over to Asano.

"So, you're going to gather your evidence and report this to the authorities?" Asano nodded, and I thought Nagisa of all people would be relieved. He didn't. He looked beyond stress, turning back to me and pushing me lightly back a little.

"Karma... what about our s _ensei_?"

Realisation dawned on me. If the man who had been _kind_ enough ( _because of course it had nothing to do with keeping up appearances to others_ ) to let his school be used enough was arrested, then with no school to teach in , would Koro-Sensei flick his switch and decide to blow up the earth prematurely.

"W-What's wrong?" The Chairman's son looked at us in anticipation, making me take back what I had said before about being unable to pity him. Having gotten his hopes up so high only to have them crushed for an unspecified reason (if he listened to us that was) would surely devastate anyone.

"If you're worried about the school don't be. They won't shut it down in the middle of the year, the government or council will simply sign a teacher or Head from another school as the temporary Chairman."

"In that case, do your best to get your freedom, Gakushuu" Nagisa smiled, a little too enthusiastically for my liking. "And if you ever need a place to stay while this is riding out, I'm sure my mother will agree that our house is always welcome to you."

I laughed loudly, placing my hand over his shoulder and making eye contact with Asano, though I knew Nagisa had pure intentions by the look in those absorbing eyes, "Nagisa, If Asano's going to be at your house spending the night I don't care if I have to show up uninvited, I'm supervising."

He smiled up at me, and nodded his head with a hushed sound of agreement.

I never thought the day would come where I made friends with Gakushuu Asano, even if it was so sour, but I guess Nagisa just had the ability to turn my worst enemies into friends. He was definitely something special.

* * *

That evening, when the class was laying up on the rooftop of the E class to watch the shooting stars going past, Nagisa leaned up against me. Kayano was close at his side, and Isogai below him, but he didn't seem to care. His innocence amazed me sometimes, but when I smiled and brought my gaze over that adorably carved face, the small dust of purple on his cheeks, and the averted eyes that I could tell were watching me nervously from their peripheral vision made me grin in a Cheshire like manner, as I slimmed my arm around his shoulder and whispered.

"What's the matter Nagisa, you're so very cuddly tonight, could it be you're cold?"

His blue hair shook about, as his head pressed up into my side. Suddenly, the boy of my dreams surprised me. He did something unexpected, something executed so swiftly, only Koro-Sensei and his mach 20 reaction time would be able to notice it.

One moment I was looking at him with my cheeks cold and my lips grinning, the next, a small, smooth warmth pecked against mine, leaving my cheeks very, very warm and a taste on my lips so delectable I had to lick them several times, eyes looking down at Nagisa with want.

"I...never responded that night you kissed me." Was all he said back, but all that was needed as a grin I couldn't fight back if I tried glided onto my face.

Unbeknownst to Nagisa, Nakamura Rio leaned on her elbows besides Irina, half nose bleeding as they snapped multiple photo's of us too comfortably curled up together, I tried my best not to wink at them. Not to lay up to it and stroke Nagisa's hair, glad that he was finally mine. That was what this meant, right?

If I told him they were looking, would he pull away, would he be embarrassed, would he look innocently and confirm that his kiss was an exaggeration in my mind as I so greatly feared. I looked down at him nervously, then before I knew it, I found myself forgetting we were even being watched.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"Tell me again why I agreed to do this?" I cringed, walking up the driveway before the foreboding house before us.

"B-Because we need manpower." The blunette explained surely, though he himself was brushing his slim fingers through a few strands of his hair nervously.

As expected, the home of the Asano family was tall, wide, isolated and modern with several cars waiting parked around it, hidden behind a pair of iron electric gates between two rows of trees on either side that had been groomed into frightening perfection. To everyone else, it was the epitome of a home without flaws. To us, it was easily a place that could drown screams and the evil that happened inside of it.

It reminded me of a video game. Infectiously, it spread until it felt as if we were about to go in with machine guns on a drug raid.

"Man-power? We're not gonna start a fight with a man in his own house, he seems like the kind with hidden weapons in the walls."

"No," I watched the small, slightly shaking shoulders as he stepped in front of me, wearing a short-sleeved grey hoodie with a sports insignia on the front and denim blue jeans. On his back, my view was slightly obstructed by the large bag pack, filled with his supplies for the night. "Of course we're not, but it's for Gakushuu. He'll feel safer, besides, you don't want me in here alone, do you?" He smiled back at me, causing me to blink just to register his beauty.

"You're completely right." My grin remained even after he returned to his normal posture and took several steps closer to the property. Soon, we were on the property.

Nagisa was the one who, with a precious surge of bravery and confidence, pressed the ringer on the door.

We waited for a moment in silence. When the doorway finally opened, after hearing the sound of an electrical lock clicking in approval, the menacing, friendly mask of our head teacher appeared before us. He was the kind of man to wear a suit in his own home, yet the kind who would keep a locked office behind a locked front door behind a locked gate.

No wonder Gakushuu felt insecure to be here. He was trapped.

I couldn't say I was fond of the idea of me and Nagisa soon becoming trapped for the night too.

"E class students at my home?" He sneered, his voice and expression controlled and stoic saved for all the arrogance and amusement present in his cold violet eyes. Now that he had deemed us both as inferior, we could watch as his magnanimous act slipped off of his face like melting mercury.

"How did you get passed my gate?" His eyes narrowed, one hand on the door impatiently, he stood more than a head taller than Nagisa, looking down at him disgustingly and accusingly.

"We're here to see Gakushuu old man, you can ask him yourself, we're invited."

I nodded my head to the visible head of strawberry blonde standing behind him on the stairs, uncertainty in his eyes until my words snapped him out of water temporary trance he had been in.

I watched as the adult's face morphed into sinking disapproval, turning to look over his shoulder, though his body still stood in the doorway blocking us while he questioned his son.

"As if you hadn't fallen low enough already, you're now surrounding yourself with unintelligent company?"

The words made my fists prickle, though I suppressed this urge, seeing the deer in head lights look of shame in the others face as he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.

"Need I remind you of my ranking at school? Move over, we're coming in." I budged him in a way you would on a packed bus, knocking him out of the way but not hard enough for him to be able to raise his fist at either of us. Though, it was partly to keep us both safe, I enjoyed knowing that he couldn't do anything about my action.

Nagisa's slim wrist was closed in my hand as I pulled him in, kicking off my shoes to where Gakushuu pointed, before heading up the stairs. Behind me, Nagisa made a string of stutters. I was aware of the tension in the room as I walked, even more aware that it made the usually so composed boy before me nearly stumbling several times on his injured limbs.

"W-What he means is thank you for letting us enter your house. You're charitable son is helping us to improve with our studies which is very kind of him."

I didn't need to face back to see the beast's glare towards me, though like most adults, he had a soft spot for Nagisa. Nodding in imperceptible silence.

We had seen nothing of the bottom floor, but already I could tell their home out sized both mine and Nagisa's combined.

Gakushuu still had his head down, rueful and begrudging that we had seen him in his state of weakness as he played host. Eventually, we were lead to one closed, magnolia door that wasn't unlocked.

"My father's room is on the other side by the stairs, so if you try and go anywhere during the night he'll be able to hear it."

We entered his room. It wasn't astonishingly large, about the size of Nagisa's bedroom, but its bareness added to its size as well as making it more unwelcoming. All that the room consisted of was a large window curtained with greyish covers, and a similar single bed. Along the edge opposite to his window, there was a substantial, closed, wooden wardrobe the same sahara brown as the thick carpet on the floor.

"This place is dull." I muttered, sitting right on his bed comfortably messing up the irritatingly neat way it was made. He winced at my action, moving to sit on the windowsill as Nagisa leaned against the bed, sitting comfortably cross legged on the floor.

"He's right Gakushuu, where are all your trophies and certificates? You have enough achievements to lighten this place up."

"The ones that aren't framed on the walls are in the trophy room." He answered almost robotically, as if he had rehearsed saying that phrase to many guests before.

"Then your learning books?"

"I have a separate study room beside father's."

What were we doing here? I couldn't think of a more dull way to spend the evening, yet Nagisa couldn't be left alone, and he was dead set on keeping his promise to the damn Asano brat. Our agreement had gone into plan, and as of this afternoon, after having spent the evening after he had told us gathering his evidence and the mental nerve to go ahead with it, Gakushuu had went to the police station and reported his father. Soon, he would get what he deserved.

He had calculated the time for them to have reviewed everything and come to a conclusion would be about ten tonight. Knowing his father could be sly and evasive, he didn't want to be at home alone with him when they dropped by to deliver the delightful news that he would be spending the rest of his life restrained or several metres from his son. You could only imagine who would be angry.

Of course, being the little angel he was, Nagisa volunteered to spend the night here, knowing our Chairman wouldn't go so far as to hurt his son in front of him, the son of one of his 'friends'.

I watched Nagisa in silence, drowning out the conversation he had somehow not tapped out of with the other, watching him smiling slightly in the little joy he received from being able to help out a friend.

I smirked, no longer able to see any more than average, friendly attraction to the other boy in his flawless eyes.

"No Nagisa, you'll be sleeping _in my bed."_

The way he said that alerted me back into their conversation. My eyes narrowed as I looked at the other boy, seeing his slightly flirtatious posture. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the tables had been turned. It looked like Gakushuu would be chasing after Nagisa now, and that pleased me because I knew that as long as I was still around, he would suffer alone while the treasured prize lay in my arms.

"I... don't think we'll both fit Gakushuu." The blunette laughed him off innocently.

"Of course we won't. I'll be sleeping on the floor. You'll lend me your sleeping back won't you?"

Ignoring his question, Nagisa went into a slight panic.

"I-I couldn't possibly kick you out of your own bed-"

"You're not kicking me out, I want you to stay there. Besides, the idea of you and Aka-" He turned his head to me, smiling slightly as if to make amends as he corrected," _Karma_ being together on the floor in my bedroom disturbs me for obvious reasons."

Nagisa went pink, his eyes looking over to me, and back to Gakushuu, cutely stumped and stuttering with wide blue eyes.

"Your fear is reasonable, however, if by any chance your father does come in during the night trying to murder you, Nagisa being in your bed will only put him in unnecessary danger. In short - that's quite a stupid idea from you."

The boy's purple eyes hardened in agreement, that Nagisa was our top priority.

"So, I think it would be in our best interest to put me in the bed, that way, it's like a trap. If he so much as lays a finger on me, I get to break his arm in self defence. That's a win for all of us, don't you think?"

Me and him nodded in a surprisingly fair consensus. It was Nagisa that interrupted him.

"B-But Karma you said it yourself that it's not wise to fight a man in his own home!"

"I get it, you're concerned Nagisa. Then in that case, you can come and sleep with me on the bed to keep me company. He won't stand a chance against both of us."

"Wait, so I'll be sleeping on the floor in my own house while you two lovers share my bed?" The Asano inquired incredulously.

"Ah, I see where he's coming from. It's only fair that Gakushuu gets his own bed also." Nagisa spoke.

"You're suggesting we all cram into that single bed?" My eyebrow quirked at this unexpectedly kinky behaviour from Nagisa, wondering if his innocent act was all just a ploy to get him alone in a room with the two hottest guy he knew. Unlike before though, Gakushuu didn't share my opinion.

"Wh-What kind of homosexual erotic novel is this! The Chairman will snap all three of our necks if he stumbles in on me opening my bed sheets up for two other males at our age! Especially when he knows what _you two_ get up to!"

I scoffed, eyes meeting purple for a second before losing control. Both Nagisa and I were not able to hold back the raving laughter at the usually calm, authoritive person's temporary breakdown. I only collapsed harder when the Asano boy turned plum coloured at the realisation that he had acted so uncharacteristically.

Sadly, me and Nagisa didn't 'get up to' nearly as much as I would have hoped. Our relationship was still new, and consisted of nothing more than a single refreshing peck on the lips, the cheek and an occasional caress of his hair.

"Then I have the solution, I'll sleep on the floor, Gakushu and Karma can share the bed."

The laughter went down in a second. Whatever truce had been called between us was broken momentarily when our eyes clashed in disgust.

"Actually, it would be best for us all to sleep in our own beds."

"Agreed." Asano deadpanned, frowning into his hand.

* * *

It was endlessly entertaining to watch Gakushuu's failed attempts to seduce Nagisa without being conspicuous enough for me to have to intervene, especially as Nagisa had lost his interest him and would only get that dot of pink on his cheeks when his eyes accidentally met the ones which were constantly trained on him; my own.

Of course, no actual revision was done, minimal talking from me was shared, easily forgotten, light conversation from the others were drowned out and several sparks for an argument were nullified by either Nagisa or the ominous sound of footsteps from outside the door.

Later in the evening, we ended up still setting up a sort of trap, but not a particularly intricate one.

Gakushuu lay snugly in his bed, while me and Nagisa lay on the floor in our little camp sets by the door. Our legs were side my side, my feet by his hips and vice versa, with my head laying towards the window. On the other side, Nagisa had his head on the end of the bed, towards the large cupboard.

The way the door opened, an intruder wouldn't be able to walk in that direction, as it would stop blocked by the surrounding conscious Nagisa who would consequently wake up himself, being able to kick and alert me so we could keep him away. If he tried to sneak in the other way, he would end up having to dodge stepping on me, which would play quite the difficult game since I slept with both of my arms conveniently, widely out stretched beside me.

In the end, Gakushuu slept a little too snugly that night. Our plan never was put into action, or tested, as the man never did try to sneak his way in. By morning, we were woken by the weak sunlight through the curtains, unharmed and unstressed. Gakushuu ended up sleeping late, but with his injuries, Nagisa insisted we left him as we got ready for school.

* * *

 **Dear fans...So this is a more calm, relaxed chapter and one of the last for this story - that's right, this is nearly over, I'd say there are only one or two chapters left.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"I-I don't understand."

Gakushuu had awoken, showered and grabbed a portable, already prepared breakfast meal before school could start, bringing us into his car with him so we wouldn't be late.

The Chairman had already left by the time we had all awoken, so me and Nagisa could enjoy nosily exploring the large house unrestricted for a few precious minutes alone until it was time to leave.

"It doesn't make sense... don't tell me he had a rat of some sort fighting to defend him in the police the whole time..What if he _knows_ I tried to stop him?"

His face had gone red with embarrassment and fear, making him vulnerable and afraid before our eyes. The approaching dread, the fear of pain was so visible it was nearly displayed before our eyes like a video.

"Don't fret over it. They probably had a lot of cases to review. I'm sure they'll have your files read by tonight." Nagisa comforted. Making me feel the opposite as he sat beside the boy.

I only watched from the sidelines as Gakushuu leaned his neck out to the side as his head rested against his bent elbow against the car window wearily in spite of his upright position, as if hanging his head was too shameful, his back remained perfectly postured back. He pressed his thumbs into his eyelids until the skin flickered to pink and then pale white.

"No hard feelings, but I'll drop you two off a bit before the school. I don't want the A class giving me any shit today for being with you. I'm not in the mood."

"That's fine." Nagisa responded. It wasn't fine to me. The fact that he was still too coward to be seen with Nagisa made me fight the urge to start an argument with him just so I wasn't the insensitive villain here. I knew Nagisa, as precious as he was, saw a distorted truth where Gakushuu was the least likely person to be responsible of evils.

The strawberry blonde went quiet again, shyly muttering when he finally did speak up. "You guys can come over again tonight, can't you?"

Nagisa looked at me, nodding when he said that he could. I shrugged.

"Guess I'll have to make up another excuse."

* * *

"My home is not a hotel." Asano glowered,when he found us at his door once more, putting up as much of a fight as he had yesterday. "What is it you boys are even studying for?"

"Gakushuu is my tutor so he's simply continuing with catch up work, and Karma is helping us out."

Taking another look over us, the man subsided, raising his arm to about Nagisa's height, inviting the boy in, though he would have to get pretty close to him to squeeze through, and of course I myself wouldn't be allowed.

"Nagisa may come in. You on the other hand have no reason to be here. A delinquent such as yourself with a lack of respect for your elders would benefit from going home."

I rolled my eyes, taking a hold of the back of Nagisa's hoodie as if to keep him on a leash even though he hadn't moved an inch.

"But Gakushuu has been expecting us both Mr. Asano."

He shot Nagisa a purple glare, making me yank him back so he was beside me as I returned his look with equal menace, wanting time to just skip so I could see this pompous bastard getting dragged out of his house by cops. It seemed the sort of thing that would be interesting if it _somehow_ ended up recorded and on the internet.

"Very well then, _neither of_ you come in _."_

He made a move to shut the door - but before it was slammed shut, it closed on the rubber end of one of Gakushuu's crutches. The sound was violent and awful, the door bouncing back until it was open as far as the unseen man behind it would let it be opened. Beside me, the blunette had a mini panic attack that there was a door between us and a potentially violent situation, he jumped up and swung the door open. Standing there, Gakushuu looked up defiantly at his father, head tilted slightly towards us, though his eyes were still fixated on the Chairman's.

"You guys come right in."

"You seem plucky lately." That look he sent him alone manifested every single punch and kick he had ever probably thrown at his son, trying to shrink him down and shatter his display of courage.

Before I could stop him, Nagisa had come between the bickering pair. The tension radiating from the two made the house looked darkened and terrifying, yet he slipped up fearlessly.

"He has good intentions, forgive us." Nagisa piped, breaking their eye contact and standing directly between them.

The man stood still. He didn't seem like he would be putting up anymore of a fight. We turned to head up the stairs. Our backs had been turned for a split second. Barely enough time to realise our mistake, only to regret our carelessness as we heard a loud ringing of metal falling. The sound was so sudden in the quiet room, I'll admit it even made me jump.

"Gakushuu!" Nagisa caught the stumbling male by the shoulders before he could drop.

"Uh...I dropped one of my crutches." he explained, glaring up at his father who was now far enough from him to be considered innocent, back coldly turned. Despite this, everyone in the room knew who was really responsible. No evidence was needed. What kind of innocent father let his injured child fall and continued to walk away? What kind of good man would keep his child hostage in a massive, practically empty prison white home like this and threaten away any company? We all knew the truth, the issue was the uncertainty of how drastically saying so would change our situation.

I glared at his retreated back as Nagisa fussed over the _'poor_ ' Asano victim and even offered him his shoulder as if his leg had been broken all over again. I could barely look at the two, rolling my eyes bitterly.

 _"He won't get away with this."_

By now, the man responsible was long gone. Gakushuu was back on his feet and looking ashamed. The dark hallway was making me sick. The pitying look of restrained hatred on Nagisa's face made my own anger struggle.

I saw the trapped, restricted light in the strawberry blonde's purple eyes when he stood, making his way towards the stairs powerlessly. The dejected way his body dragged itself, leaning on the shoulder of _my_ Nagisa. It reminded me of my hatred for him. I really didn't like Gakushuu at all.

But the shred of respect I had for him came from his strength.

Staying here, trapped in the fog of the bomb of negativity that had just gone off would only deplete that strength further and further. Much like Nagisa, it wouldn't be long before he lost sight of the person he once was.

"Don't move."

Nagisa and him turned to look at me, half curious, but mainly just wanting to get as far from here as they could. At this rate, they would only end up hinding behind Gakushuu's bedroom door where they were barely any safer. There was just no point in it all.

"Come back down here Nagisa, I think I have a better idea."

Gakushuu scrunched his face,"The Chairman doesn't want to see us-"

"And he won't." I sly smirk came onto my face,"Not if we're out of the house."

The Asano boy was an open book, it was effortlessly easy to tell how appealing that sounded to him, but there was still that resilience that forced him to remain behind the bars of this place to please his abuser.

"There's no way he'll allow such _delinquent_ behaviour." He emphasised the words as if he still believed he was somehow better than me.

"He can't be angry at what he doesn't know."

"You're expecting us to be able to sneak out?!" He looked over frantically down the hallways to where his father had disappeared, eyes narrowed, voice lowered to a bitter whisper.

"Maybe with your parents, but not with _him."_

He was still reluctant to accept. I couldn't force him to leave, but I knew I wouldn't have to. A flash of blue revealed Nagisa's arm over his shoulder, whispering back. "Karma's right, you've been stuck with the guy for weeks, your leg's healing up fine so getting out of here will be great for you. It will be better for all of us."

Annoyed by the excitement in his eyes, my own hand found it's way brushing against Nagisa's skin gently, so I now stood between them where I could lead the other down the steps and closer to the front door. He backed away from me like my touch would lead him into dirt, but my grip was clearly stronger, and he didn't exactly have an alternative at present when his walking aid was behind the wall of my back and in Nagisa's palm.

"Come on Gakushuu. Don't tell me you've never sneaked out before?"

He glanced breifly over my shoulder to meet my blunette's eyes, conscious of how he would look to him,"I've never had to-"

"Don't tell me you're too scared," I laughed, "Your daddy's gonna kick your ass so badly but all you can do is sit around waiting in his home like a frightened little duckling."

My eyes gleamed in delight when he slapped my hand away, marching forward towards the door, humiliation written all over him. He was so easy to manipulate, so self conscious of appearing weak and inferior it was tragic. He snapped up so easily at the news that doing something would prove him the opposite, when in reality he was just being used again.

"Fine then. I'll do it but just to show you that I can." He sneered.

I smirked triumphantly, ignoring the tutting Nagisa gave me as he walked by, footsteps suddenly ghost like.

"Just follow me."

My eyes met with Nagisa again. We nodded to each other, a silent agreement, made before the door quietly clicked open, "I'll take him to the gate, wait here and count a few minutes before opening he gates up."

Outside was dark, allowing both me and Asano to become shadows, having no choice but to take our time in walking until we reached the large metal gates, knowing there was no way they would open without notifying the demon sitting behind the gates of the castle.

We turned back, just able to see the blur of blue standing beside a much higher up blur of brown and grey standing before the beside the sealed door we had escaped from not long ago.

Nagisa was talking to him. Nagisa was alone with the abuser. The man himself didn't know it, but if he wanted to grab the boy by the hair and slam his skull into the concrete beside him, even I wouldn't be fast enough to stop it. I couldn't drag my eyes from them, yet I could somehow sense that the other beside me shared the same feelings.

"K-Karma..." Gakushuu nearly stepped forward. He nearly revealed himself and outed our whole plan in that moment of concern, but my hand clamped onto his bruised shoulder and stopped him.

Without the blunette their for me to caution myself with, I forgot to maintain restraint. The action made him cry out and thrash at me until I pulled away. I was still looking at him sternly, though no longer violent as he had stopped moving. I let him know that I was pissed he'd taken my attention from Nagisa, and he went quiet.

"Don't worry. He wouldn't _dare_ hurt him."

I hadn't meant the words. I knew that the monster of a man very well would if he were provoked enough, and I knew that it would be Nagisa's own skills that would save him long before any of us could do a single thing. I just couldn't afford to share that secret with this boy in case he fell even more in love. Although the words I had said were spoken so convincingly, I nearly started to believe them myself.

I found comfort in repeating that Nagisa was an assassin. A strong one too.

Gakushuu breathed in deeply when the door clicked open, The small boy was smiling in that disturbingly casual, lethal fake smile of his that caught me off guard. I was half expecting him to attack the Chairman right there and then, having seen so many similar things play out, but he only stepped out of the house quietly.

"..He only sent us away so early because he's so tired. You should let him get his rest." His threatened inconspicuously.

"He didn't tell you to say that to me did he?" The man inquired grimly, leaning back out of the door as I felt Gakushuu tensing like he was near a wild fire.

"Of course not, I meant it myself. I know he's stopped all of his club activities, but he seems so overexerted lately. Even Karma saw it, which is why he left earlier." He added convincingly.

"Coming to my house and telling me what to do now Nagisa.."

The man hummed domineeringly, smiling down falsely when he said his goodbyes, spitting bullshit that would have sadly fooled even those trained to look out for this sort of behaviour when he promised he'd let his son rest for the night. The door clicked shut, and we both knew that he would be heading up the stairs to cause the boy more pain the moment he knew Nagisa was out of hearing range.

None of us wanted to be around when he discovered the empty bedroom. Hopefully, we would be even further from here when he realised he was in an empty _house._

"Come on."

We were free. We could go whatever we went and do whatever we want, but we had to be quick. Nagisa raced up beside me, emerging from the shadows as if he were one himself.

I turned to Gakushuu, hoping he was damn appreciative of what we were doing for him. But when I turned, his eyes were alarmingly still, looking outside the gates. He was breathing heavily, leaning back frozen. It wasn't until I saw flashing lights in the reflection of his night darkened eyes that I realised why. I turned to see what had him so struck by lightning.

A single police car had pulled up, sirens silent but lights flashing strongly as the door opened and revealed two officers.

"Shit. He's gonna come out here." I muttered in annoyance.

"We have to go." Nagisa appeared suddenly and grabbed hold of Gakushuu, tugging him back, attempting to take him in what seemed like the direction of the back of the house, knowing we couldn't escape now. Hiding was the best option, but by the time we would get to the house at this rate, Asano would have heard the ringer and come out to check the gate. Footsteps sounded, then a loud knocking against metal gates.

"Come on." I repeated.

I was about to slap the boy into his sense, but Nagisa had taken him by the hand and wheeled him a safe distance from me before I could.

The nearest place we could reach before our movements in the dark caught any unwanted attention was behind the sleek black car, all three of us crouching in the darkness as the door clicked open. We weren't nearly as far as we would have liked. Despite having an entire massive home to hide in, we were stuck barely two metres from the man.

"W-why did they only send two people? What are they thinking?" Nagisa let go and the Asano boy fell back with his face in the ground almost lifelessly onto the concrete, you would have thought he were dead if not for the insanely heavy breaths of his. "T-This can't go right...f-fuck..."

I glanced over to Nagisa, but his eyes were completely focused on Gakushuu. He wouldn't look at me if I screamed.

"Breathe, we're safe here, he can't see us." His nails dug into the hard floor, completely unfazed, gritting his teeth, "Gakushuu? Trust me."

 _"_ I don't think he can here you. _He's having a panic attack."_

"Gakushuu, calm down." Nagisa shook his shoulder gently, leaning in, trying to keep quiet. He was too close to him.

Reaching over, I pinched into the boy hard, snarling at him to snap out of it, and that if he didn't his father would see us for sure.

It was too late. The man stepped out of the house, walking forwards towards the gate, the picture of perfection and sophistication when he answered the officers with not even the slightest trace hinting at guilt in his demeanour. Gakushuu clambered back even further. It was easy to tell this wasn't the same person we knew. It was another side of him we had never seen, even as he clung on to his pride, his face flickering from immense fear to a crumbling attempt at stoic control as he brought his eyes up to watch ahead of him like he was about to witness a massacre. The sound of his breathing drowned out every single one of my blunettes comforts.

My lips curved into the slightest smile at seeing the boy so pathetically trembling like that, with eyes looking up unable to see the present. Though, it was a pitying sort of smile. Just like before, I had a feeling it would be easy to control him. I knew he would snap at the chance to not see himself as inferior.

"You're acting like an idiot Gakushuu. He would be ashamed to see you this way."

It wasn't long before acceptance slipped onto his face, sadness and desperation as Gakushuu whispered, _"He's going to kill me...I-I'm dead... my future's gone.."_

On the bright side, he was no longer panting like a dog that had been whipped, though the absolute lack of reaction from the Chairman gave me the impression that even without the sound we were too late. He knew exactly where we were which was why he chose to not look, because logically, he would have heard us from the moment he unlocked the door. And what people usually did when they heard sounds on their empty property was look in that direction in rage. He walked out like he knew exactly what was going on, why the police where here and why we were hiding.

On the other hand, Nagisa's face had darkened completely to a shadow.

"Don't look at me like that." I explained casually,"We can drag him back more easily now that he's become such a puppet."

I reached over, pinching the boy by the shoulders just tightly enough so that I could lift him, yet he shot up like I was the end open end of an electric wire, stumbling over and crashing right into Nagisa.

My eyes narrowed. Nagisa's hand closed around him protectively.

"Don't listen to a word _he_ says. You're not a puppet Gakushuu and you're certainly not going to die. You have the choice of how you want your future to go, but please, you have to get up."

My smile dropped instantaneously when he looked up right into Nagisa's eyes, which I myself couldn't see. Seeing his arm around him, their eyes meeting in a secluded area outside of my range triggered something in me. Suddenly, jealousy made me oblivious to the murmurs around me. Nagisa whispered to Gakushuu, holding his close. Suddenly, I found no harm in ripping them apart and slamming Gakushuu's back into the cold hard concrete.

"What are y-"  
Suddenly, I found a hand coiling around my throat. A cold, threatening hand I knew would crush my throat if I didn't react soon, I turned, striking my foot out to kick this opponent, only to find I was already the prey when my world went spinning around, and my body sent skidding backwards until I hit the concrete wall.

My skin burned from where Nagisa had attacked me, but not as much as my eyes did when I saw him on his knee's crawling towards that sly bastard I regretted ever trying to help out. Snake like and agile, the smaller boy slid between his bent legs, with one arm supporting his weight on the side, the finger from his the one opposite to this pressed against his lips to hush him, eyes big, bold blue and brilliant although innocent and oblivious to his actions as they looked up caringly, his lips mouthing silent words that had my ears ringing.

My eyes managed to focus just enough to realise that from behind them, everyone was looking their way. Shit. That was my blunder. The blue light was no longer as blinding. The two officers were now facing us. They were now inside the gates, and the Chairman walking towards us.

Walking towards Nagisa while he had his back turned.

"Nagisa!" I cried out, no longer caring about being quiet or not. A set of eyes shot back to me, though they were a detestably, uncared for purple. Not the blue I was looking for. Not the blue I needed to hear me out right now.

"Ignore him." I watched Nagisa coax his chin back with both of his hands around his face. He was looking up with as much shock and fear as the first time he touched the other.

"Everything, is going to be fin-"

"Your dad is gonna fucking kill you!"

My warning came at a sickeningly inconvenient time. Not any later, as Gakushuu would have screamed out and drowned the sound of it, but not any earlier so as it turned out, neither of them had the time to accept my words, react to them and run. My words sounded incriminating, as if I were only a jealous, taunting bastard.

The Chairman's hand reached out and so much as brushed Nagisa's shoulder, as both eyes turned up to him, Gakushuu jumped back and slammed his head into the car behind him so hard a dent marred it like a brick had been dropped there. His breathing hastened, loosing his grip to gravity and slamming down into the concrete before the police officers could get to him. It happened so quickly, the Chairman hadn't even blinked when the bottom of my foot smited his face and sent him back away from Nagisa with blood dripping down his nose.

Nagisa stood in shock, going to the officers - over to Gakushuu who was injured, the Chairman who was potentially murderous for revenge and myself who should have been the first Nagisa looked at. He went straight to the officers, holding his hands up defensively and stuttering,

"No It's not what it seem-"

I only recognised the boys intentions when they shoved past him. Seconds later, my own face had been slammed down into the car, shouting blurring out my senses and my back bent forward as my hands were clasped in metal cuffs before being reeled off into the back of a car with red and blue lights and a metal cage that trapped me, once again.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

I had kicked the head teacher of my school in the face. I had indirectly knocked his son out on the floor with a concussion, and I had left my Nagisa alone in the cold as more police cars rushed around him and snatched the criminal away from his victim. So here I was, hands against a cold metal bar that had probably been held in the same way under the hands of all the other juvenile delinquents it had locked up in the past just like myself.

Nagisa didn't visit me the night I spent behind bars.

After being in the grey room for several hours, it was no wonder I started to daydream a bit. I kept envisioning him as he lit up the room after pushing past an officer shouting at me as I listened deaf, far too preoccupied with looking at his pretty lips moving. I kept counting down, kept stumbling back into reality that my delusions were only delusions, only for them to be snatched away by another dream. It wouldn't be long now, maybe when I was let free I would walk by to see him sitting in wait for me having persuaded them of my innocence. Maybe he would be angry, but his cute little blush and his very presence would tell me of his care. Maybe he would jump into my arms and tell me how worried he had been. Any moment now an officer would open the door and say-

 _"You have a guest."_

My mother walked in looking just as thrilled as you would expect her to be. Behind her... no Nagisa. My hoped died, blue already growing over my bored vision.

She wasn't angry though, neither were the officers who had witnessed my act and my dirty words, much to my surprise. Since Asano had proven guilty and charged of his crimes, everyone had assumed I had been acting to defend and I had been lucky enough to be excused. Wouldn't it be funny if I ended up here for the boy I had supposedly saved's assault or murder in a matter of weeks?

That was a dark thought.

Did I regret what I had done? No. Of course not, as the reason I was there was to protect Nagisa if necessary, and I had done just that. Did I wish I had done that in a different way? Perhaps. Perhaps I could have been a bit less intense, perhaps I could have had more self control, so then Nagisa wouldn't have had to go home alone in the dark that evening. Perhaps if things had gone differently he wouldn't have had all the bonding time I knew he had spent looking over the shocked victim's passed out body as he was rushed into hospital.

* * *

I didn't see Nagisa until Friday. When I did, he didn't speak to me. He seemed quiet, his face was still, but the way he spoke with Kayano was considerably lighter. Something stirred inside me seeing him smiling like that. Hearing him laughing from here, and not even flinching when Koro-Sensei tickled him for whatever reason, but giggling with his pretty eyes shut was so amazing it nearly choked me. He was no longer an uncomfortable stranger hiding secrets and pain from the class; the only person he was like that with was me.

* * *

"Gakushuu's looking well." He tensed, harmless knife raised at his side when I spoke from the shadows of a tree on his way home that afternoon. I watched as his eyes narrowed, slowly realising who I was before he lowered his knife. I had to grin awkwardly when I saw his temporary relief flicker to tension.

"He's had a lot worse." The boy muttered evasively. I guessed he was angry that I'd hurt Gakushuu. That I had offended his _precious fucking prince._

"So prince charming's defeated the dragon, does that mean the fickle princess who's life he nearly destroyed gets to go running back to him as if he hasn't done a thing?"

"What are you talking 'bout?" He sighed, eyes still averted so they appeared darker, still clearly trying to look for a way to slip past me. As if I would give up that easily.

"You know... I wasn't trying to be horrible when I said what I said to him. I just thought that I could use his fear and his need to be accepted to make him obey us - just to get him to safety..."

My message just didn't seem to be getting across. I knew I shouldn't have tried to explain this.

"You mean exploit him? You can't manipulate human minds like that..." I expected him to sound disgusted, instead, his emotions were so bland I knew he was hiding something I didn't know. That frightened me even more.

"Gakushuu finally sees you as more than a punchbag. I'm happy for you two."

I tried my very best not to look resentful, silently dying inside at words that tasted poison even if they were my own. It only hurt even more with the lack of denial coming from the blue haired boy before me.

"I guess I'm right. You and that Gakushuu huh, after all these years you've finally succeeded in your relationship." I finished. Nagisa still didn't look. I sighed, sadness settling over my face. "I guess if you're gonna be seeing him I'm finally free to set my sights on that cute green-haired girl-"

"What! You're leaving m-"

"You're not going anywhere are you?" His words were cut off by my arms sliding over his shoulder as I smirked.

I couldn't believe how happy that reaction had made me. He hadn't gotten angry that I assumed he was with Gakushuu, he hadn't even reacted that I claimed to have wanted his friend, all he reacted to was that I would no longer be his.

He flinched in embarrassment in realisation of his blunder. Soon finding that there was no point in his unhappy act any longer. It wasn't long before he relaxed in my grasp, warming my body with his heat again in a way that felt so right as I nuzzled into his soft hair, planting a kiss on his forehead.

I missed his skin as if I hadn't seen him in weeks.

"Karma.."

My eyes closed, just breathing him in, just glad that I hadn't fucked things up. Glad that I could still be with him, and that he wanted to be with me.

When my eyes opened again, they stared down at a head tilted up, puppy-like blue eyes returning this gaze, no longer hiding his emotions, with his cheeks proudly red at my embrace.

"I..." He asked softly, his voice quiet and slow.

"I'm listening.." I purred.

It was then that I felt his hands pinching the sides of my shirt. "Y-You're not listening to me."

"Of course I am. You haven't said anything but, I mean I'll obey when you do. If you want, I would happily be a slave to you, Nagisa." I nibbled on his hair-tie, smiling down at him.

His eyes looked nervously at me, cringing at my choice of words, and giving me a temporary burning in my chest like I had said something offensive.

"That's not what I mean. What I mean is- stop!"

I startled as it dawned on me that he was nearly crying, mouth opening to speak only to stop mid action like a dummy when he beat me to it. His head shook, like a puppy coming out from the water.

"I'm sorry Karma." His hands still clung to me, yet they were clinging at a distance, making a kind of barrier between us with his arms.

He read the distress in my expression easily as I tried to suppress the darkness from creeping over my eyes.

"I just want to talk, without you all over me."

My expression must have flickered to guilt, because his eyes quickly widened as he spoke frantically,"N-not that I'm disgusted or anything! Not at all, I just find it easier to talk this way Karma...Thank you... thank you so much for everything. I-I'm so glad you moved to the E class, I know that sounds terrible but if it weren't for you I would have still-"

"Shh." My lips touched down on his, so softly and gently against his pink, plush warmth I thought for a second that it had been in my imagination when I pulled away. "You owe me nothing Nagisa. In fact, I'm thankful to you for making me smile. Thank you, Nagisa~"

My arms slipped up so they rested over his shoulders in a hug from behind, just standing there without moving or speaking. Just cherishing him.

"Hm.." He blinked away his shock and laughed silently at me, stepping forward and pushing me off.

My hand grazed his shoulder, looking down at his face not allowing him any escape. He flinched, and before I knew it, I was standing a foot away from him.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't like this, Karma."

Of course. Of course he wouldn't. This time I refused to let the sadness show on my face, because his own was so evident.

"I don't like you being all over me like this, and it makes me really uncomfortable and self conscious. Do you think I'm a girl still? That I _want_ you to be touching me, all in my hair and all over my skin?! Can't we go back to the way we used to be? As just friends."

He blinked rapidly, so much so that I knew he was fighting nervous tears.

My hands stung from the spot where it had once been in contact with Nagisa. Shame froze me. I had gotten ahead of myself again. When did it become okay for me to be all over him like this, invading his personal space and saying such weird things? If he truly was comfortably around me I would have been slapped so many times by now. I frowned down at him, my own chest feeling tight, as if a solid object was trapped in the centre of it, blocking the blood flow.

"You..?" I laughed, the sound was bitter and as aggressive as it would have sounded if someone I hated had said that to me. "You kissed me Nagisa."

His face turned scarlet while his mouth opened to speak. I cut him off. "You put your mouth on mine and that can't have been an accident because it was only you that made yourself do those actions. You did that because you had intentions; maybe you were trying to tell me something, maybe you were trying to express your only feelings - whatever it was, it had a purpose you can't deny tha-"

"I wanted to try it, to see how it would be if anything were to happen between us. So far, all I've felt is regret from that."

I thought I could be hurtful, but Nagisa seemed to have the capability of torturing with only a simple, meagre sentence.

Body moving forward, my mouth opened to speak. He backed away from me, arm crossed over so his hand pinched at his elbow nervously, prickling me with the same minor pain as him while he did it.

We stood in silence, my eyes raking over him as his averted in thought.

He met my stare eventually. Sometimes, my face would take on the expression of subconscious thoughts of mine that I myself hadn't even acknowledged. Right now must have been one of those times, because the blunette looked as though I had been glaring at him like a predator.

"I just want to take things back... to when we were friends, when things weren't so complicated." He compromised with such Nagisa-like hope.

I smirked, "What's the point in being friends still when you clearly don't find a benefit in being with me?"

His smiled vanished.

"So you don't want to be my fr-"

"I didn't say that, did I? Just answer the question, please."

"W-we were never together in the first place really-"

"Exactly. So how do you know you don't like it?"

"I-I just d-do. I know I'm not ready for it."

"For what? Why can't we be in a relationship where we go at your pace?"

"I don't know Karma, you tell me!" He snapped, his voice rising and then breaking into a half sob. His head turned in embarrassment, but I couldn't look away, following him around. "Tell me why you can't just be with me and not be all over me, why can't I find someone who wants to hear my opinion of things, who wants to hear how I feel and not break off my speech or speak louder then me or threaten me so my point doesn't get across..."

Sobbing, the boy before me was so vulnerable, so weak and small in this moment where it was me and him alone in this mass of mountain forest. He could easily be lead astray, so easily it stung me with the temptations to lead him back into another abusive relationship and choose my own happiness over his.

I placed a tissue in his hand without letting my skin touch his, waiting for his quiet sobs to die down, leaving him with just the shame of letting his emotions overflow like that.

"Do you feel better? Now that it's been cried out?" I offered gently, my lips curving up compassionately.

It was like magic watching the understanding spread over his eyes. The realisation that Karma wasn't the big bad wolf, that I wouldn't abuse him and hurt him, that he had relieved his stress and so much more. Wet pupils almost as deep as the universe around us looked back at me.

"At least now having said it aloud I know what exactly not to be. You know exactly what to look out for. I promise you I won't be any of those things Nagisa. As your friend," the acid that came with the words were swallowed by me until they were untraceable, "I'll make sure that you stay safe from bastards like that."

I hadn't expected him to forgive me so quickly. Maybe it was due to his delicate state of mind, the fact that he wanted to remain my friend the whole time or perhaps even that he hid a secret hope for a relationship with me in the future.

I didn't care whichever excuse was responsible because the fact was, he smiled back. It the nervous smile of an insecure boy who just wanted to be happy.

Then suddenly, his arms embraced me, his face in my chest. His warm breath and the vibrations of his wavering voice teased me to no end, alarming me that he could be crying. When he pulled away however, I realised Nagisa was laughing.

"Nagisa..." I didn't want to feel these dirty thoughts about him. As much as I enjoyed them, I really didn't.

He pulled back, punching me in the arm with strength that actually stung quite a bit," That's for making me cry.."

My knees gave out below me involuntarily, dropping down before him so I was looking up, what a view it was to be close to him like this.

"The very least you can do is accept my sorrow for being such a bastard to you," I took his hand and kissed his palm, a rush coursing through me when I looked up to see him looking down on me in surprise,"I am truly, truly sorry Nagisa."

Suddenly he laughed, looking away nervously as he took hold of my shoulders, leading me up. "It's fine... you-you're the best."

"Ah," I sighed happily, "It makes me so overjoyed to be your friend again~"

He rubbed his collar nervously, finding the courage to turn to face me and speak. "We're more than that though, aren't we?" My chest tightened. "We're best friends, right?"

His excitement was so delectable, the way his lips smiled slightly, shy at being considered to eager yet unable to contain it fully, the way he offered me a place in his life and his heart as he declared our relationship despite every horrible thing I had done to him. It was a moment so perfect, a moment another me would have been more than satisfied with. I should have treasured this moment.

So why did it feel like a stab with a blunt knife to hear him say those words?

* * *

There was a sense of uselessness in me as I leaned over the rooftop of the E class, watching Nagisa from a distance that placed silence over us as he had fun with the other friends he had made.

Unlike me, he had come remarkably far. He wouldn't shy away from a skirt and flinch when his hair was touched, I believed he had been cured - and not to sound vain or anything, but I believed I must have been the one to hand him that cure.

My pride over him crushed when it dawned in me in the hour I spent avoiding his gaze, that while he had moved forward, I had moved backwards.

I may have learned a bit of self control, and helped put away a criminal, but here I was still unable to kiss and hold Nagisa the way I wanted. There was still enough of a barrier between us that stopped me from even touching his hair without feeling guilty.

I felt just as consumed and passionately enraged as I had at first about him, though depressed to know that my progression was at a stand still.

What was the fun in having control when you couldn't break free sometimes and have the fun you wanted? Part of me was angry that I had to change for him. To become a _better_ person that didn't manipulate and enjoy suffering of others or even get violent or possessive. Why couldn't Nagisa just accept who I initially am? Why was he afraid of me!? Because Gakushuu had given people like me a bad reputation?! That Asano brat was in a hospital bed half dead yet all my problems could be traced back to him.

Koro-Sensei's loud cheer leading praise of Nagisa reached my ears. I saw the boy blushing. I saw the other's laughing, and Karasuma smiling in praise. Just like that my anger was gone, replaced by a feeling that was too light to be sadness but to melancholy to be any other emotion.

Depressed. Maybe I really was. After all, I had gone from nervous, to elated, to crushingly dead inside in less than an hour. Though, it seemed really selfish that there were people in the world who endured real problems like Nagisa had, meanwhile I was here getting dwonhearted over a sparkly eyed baby-blue haired boy not noticing me.

I watched Isogai take a tumble after failing to reach the snake-agile boy, laughing inside though not letting this amusement slip onto my face.

What was I supposed to do? Clearly unhappy with being just friends with Nagisa, but clearly able to see that manipulating him and abusing him into being with me would only make him suffer, and in the end lead to even more trouble.

 _There was nothing I really could do._

* * *

"Actually, it's good you asked. He has a minor concussion but mostly his injuries were due to anxiety." Nagisa explained, walking by me as I kicked small rocks into a path of skimming along the pavement before losing their energy and becoming still.

"Hmm? That's good."

"Yeah. It will be a while before he's back at school though." I could tell there was something bothering him.

"Do you want to go visit him?"

"W-Well yes. I do. I just have a feeling that even when he does heal, the council won't send him to a school where his father was such a big influence, not where everyone will be demanding to know what happened to him. Not to mention he can't live in his father's house alone. I'm worried about him. I feel as if he's going to disappear from our lives one day and we'll never see him again."

I loved the way he said 'we' as if the Asano actually mattered in my life.

"Don't stress yourself." I pressed his eyebrows down with my thumb so his flawless skin wouldn't wear and gain creases. "I'll take you to see him on the weekend if you like."

Nagisa chortled lightly,"On second thought, I'm not sure seeing you will be good for him."

His actions made me remember the last night the three of us had been together. How villainous I must have come across as back then. I had completely forgotten about it now that I knew Nagisa wouldn't hold a grudge against me. Gakushuu however... I hoped I was the villain in his life, he certainly was mine.

My expression hardened. "If you try and go alone, I'll only follow you Na-gi-sa~ We might as well go together in the first place to avoid any surprises."

The boy's eyes had a look in them that I saw a lot these days, though regrettably it was one I couldn't read.

He nodded to me, a cautious smile on his lips,"I guess you're right."

* * *

That day came about quicker than I would have liked. Far quicker. Before I knew it I was on the train, before I knew it I was with Nagisa, then, just as quickly as I had gotten him in my grasp, he was gone. Standing by Gakushuu's side and handing him the little bag of gifts he had brought him.

The strawberry blond looked up at him with adoring eyes, occasionally straying to the side to shoot me a threatening glare.

I returned them right back, though the second Nagisa looked, that melted into a mask of agreeable expressions for the both of us.

"I'm glad your head didn't _split_ into to after that night. How are you feeling Asano?" I almost threatened, face bored.

"Not at all, everything's fine. If it's an excuse for _Nagisa_ to give me these _lovely gifts_ he was _so keen_ on buying for _me,_ I'm glad in fact."

Nagisa looked at him warmly, but he had turned to me.

"Thank you Karma, for being so supportive." He spoke with intense sarcasm.

I nodded. "Unfortunately, we can't be here everyday. Use your time together wisely because _Nagisa and I_ will be _very busy_ together during weekdays."

His face turned distasteful, eyes showing slight jealousy that his words had tried to inflict on me, though of course I had been a lot more careful about hiding this. He seemed to have less control of his emotions these days. Guess abuse really did fuck people up in the head.

As if he could read my mind, he glared at me. I smiled back.

The rest of the day was spent like that. I spoke minimally, unable to engage in the sickening conversations of the two or even to look when Asano would blatantly ogle Nagisa like a little school girl in love.

I felt indisposed by the end of the day - and not because I had spent it in a hospital surrounded by broken souls and flu breath.

It was the biggest relief to step out of that room, turning my head when Nagisa hugged him, though the action was brotherly it was still shy and made me quiver with envy.

Fresh air hit us as the hospital was gradually left further and further behind us under the draining sunlight in the sky, I was alone with Nagisa again.

"That was more awful than you warned me."

He sighed. I was expecting him to laugh and make an excuse but he didn't.

"I really don't understand why you insisted on coming today. Don't think I didn't notice what you and Gakushuu were up to."

"Oh, and what were we up to? It seems to me you to were the only ones communicating in that room so please, Nagisa, tell me, I'm curious?"

The aggression in my words was more powerful than intended, yet I realised the second they were out that they voiced the inner turmoil I was hiding.

He tensed beside me. I was several steps ahead when I realised he had stopped.

"Na-"

"I just don't understand - I thought you two were getting along so well until the end when you just - just switched."

I realised he was talking about the night when the Chairman was arrested. I could see that he thought it was his fault, that he felt responsible that Gakushuu got hurt as he was the one who had brought big bad me there.

"Gakushuu was trying so hard to get along with you. I've realised now that I really can't force it, but when you're both acting so fake like that, glaring at each other behind my back and trying to got on each other's nerves with words it really stresses me out."

"Nagisa," I cooed, walking over to him, extending my hand to raise his chin until his eyes met mine, only to freeze on the spot when I remembered that wasn't such a good idea.

"Why do you hate each other so much? You really are so alike, I thought for sure you would get along." His eyes were foggy and blue, his hair reflecting the grey blue sky to become a silvery colour.

He looked so sick of the lies, so needing of honesty and truth, I found myself unable not to oblige, eyes half lidded as I looked down at him.

"That's just it. He's jealous of me and I'm jealous of him."

"Wha-"

"We both want you so badly that we get sick to see the other spending time with you. It's selfish that we want you all to ourselves, but neither of us are willing to give you up."

His face went red really quickly, mouth opening to speak, but no words came out other than his adorable embarrassment.

"Karma... I-I really..."

My hand swept through his silky hair before I could stop myself. Seeing him looking like this made me want to do something even more selfish. It made me want to do some as childish as giving him the choice of either me of Gakushuu but not both.

"I just, really fucking hate him. He's the definition of the scumbag you should avoid to me, and I'm probably the same to him." I breathed out.

"Karma, I don't want you to be jealous. I never really liked Gakushuu, I realise that now. At that time, he was just so admirable, he reminded me of a stronger, smarter more powerful version of myself, so seeing him hurt just made me want to protect him. Somewhere along the line, the feeling of wanting him to notice what I was doing so he could help himself got muddled up with wanting him to notice me for other reasons."

His head turned to the side in thought, his hand brushing over the skin of my hand, unintentionally sending touch sensitive bubbles throughout me.

"You know, Gakushuu asked me if I would give him his job back as my tutor."

My breath hitched. I had been trying to remain stoic, but there was no mistaking the anxiety I felt in my stomach. After I had worked so hard and gotten so close, the last thing I wanted was for Gakushuu to take it all from me.

"I turned him down. He looked like a sad puppy, really I thought he would cry," He laughed, fidgeting nervously, "But I kept my firm and told him that wouldn't be necessary. Not just because it would upset you, and not because of your teaching abilities, because I want you as my tutor."

I wished he had used another word instead of tutor.

"I don't want you to be jealous." He repeated. "I don't want you to feel threatened."

My hand slipped away from the warmth of beside his neck, lead by his own hand until it was at my side uselessly. "There's something different about being with you, maybe it's because you're so unpredictable, but whatever it is, it can't be replaced by anyone else I know."

It was love. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to scream the words until I had convinced him they were true, despite knowing that in the same way as Gakushuu, I had shown to stick by him and provide him with strength and care in a weak time, leading to confusing feelings. Instead, I followed him on to the trains until our departure in different directions.

When he was gone, I contemplated following him back to his house. I contemplated pushing him into a dark alley or forcing him back to mine, the scene playing out in my mind like a video I had no control of, becoming more and more vivid as I walked blindly on the streets with a lustful gleam in my eye and I hated myself for every second of it.

* * *

 **The last chapter...**

 **I'm not sure if I should do one more, but if there are any objections don't hesitate to say so! If I get a few I might write a final chapter just to tie up any loose ends people aren't sure about.**

 **Other than that, thank you for reading (with special thanks to reviewers) I hope the story was to your liking :)**


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